Extended Hiatus #1

Hello, readers. Or probably... reader. Singular. Or nobody. Since this blog loves to get hit by affiliate spammers on occasion, I neither know, nor care, if this blog has a regular reader base. Ignoring hit stats and closing comments to outsiders really helps me keep this blog on it's initial track and sole purpose: to relay and reflect upon things happening around my character, and develop him further outside of the game.

Oh yeah, the game. My subscription to World of Warcraft just closed. For now, I'm not renewing on account of the fall semester at my community college starting up. Last semester I tried keeping an active sub while classes were in session... let's just say that didn't turn out so well.

Kruega may return in December-January, during the short winter intersession, if things are smooth here and Christmas doesn't kick my ass like it did last year. Otherwise, I'm out until April/May. To my friends in game on Moon Guard and Wyrmrest Accord: keep up the good RPin' and have fun with Pandaria.

Letters From Friends

Three pieces of parchment are folded in half and placed between the pages. The first two appear slightly crumpled and re-smoothed.

Departure

I have decided that I must train myself further.

I have spoken with Pipiltin and Urukha about this. While I do not feel shame or remorse for the things I should not, I feel as though I am... missing something. I wonder what else there is to know about myself, and An'she. Theran had taught me much, and my travels about the world had bestowed more knowledge upon me, but I cannot help but feel that there is more.

I will be meeting the other Sunwalkers in Thunder Bluff, and I wish to learn more from them, and hone my ability in combat and the defense of my family, and friends. I understand this will be difficult, and may take a long time. I will leave this journal in my hut, for the tribe to find should something should happen to me.

I will admit, I fear that with my departure, the Burning Tusks may disappear as my birth tribe had. I shall keep my talisman close to my heart, and pray that the An'she's gaze warms them and keeps a careful vigil so that I may return to them, stronger and able to protect them from harm.

Until ash.

Another View

I asked to speak with Urukha yesterday, as I still felt troubled, upset, and angry with Theran's attack, and death. I retold what had happened that night, and explained to her again who Theran was.

When I spoke of my anger at Theran for attacking Nemeiah without reason, and being unable to protect her, she first asked me, "Does a tree deserve to be struck by lightning?" Of course, it does not... Urukha said to me that Nemeiah was in the right place, but at the wrong time, I think... and that this might have happened to her even if I was not there.

However, I still felt at fault for being unable to communicate with Theran so long ago, when I thought the Stonecalf Tribe had met its end. Urukha reminded me that my presence, or my lack of presence, very well may not have had influence on these things, and I should not feel responsible for the first death of my mentor, or what had happened to him afterwards.

To my surprise, Urukha then asked me why I despaired. She brought two things I had not considered to light. First, the machines in Theran's body caused him great pain, and changed him into something he was not. By heeding his request to end his life, I also ended the suffering he had endured for these many moons. Second, while I failed to prevent harm from coming to Nemeiah, I had not stood by idly and allowed it to happen. I had done what I could to protect her, and it is likely that my actions did save her life. I remembered Nemeiah asking me not to be angered at myself for being unable to guard her, but at the time I was deafened to her request by shame. Shame that I understand now that I should not feel.

Knowing these things has lifted my spirit, and Urukha told me that what I had done that night was in service to the tribe, and to myself. I thanked her, and left to visit Theran's grave. On the way, I retrieved the greatsword he gave to me, from my hut. It now stands by his grave, an offering of thanks to him. I hold onto a ring of his in remembrance, and will wear it around my neck.

It is from the Earth Mother we shu'halo are born, and to her we will return. Farewell, my friend. May you walk with her in peace this time.

Failed

Theran is dead now, by my hand.

He came upon me and Nemeiah in Orgrimmar, and proceeded to attack her. He was acting much like he had when I saw him last in Thunder Bluff. I tried, but failed to guard Nemeiah from harm... Theran punched her hard in the face, and then broke her leg. I became enraged. Nemeiah had done nothing to him, or me, to deserve this, so I swung my hammer at him, and knocked him into the pond.

A friend of Nemeiah's came to her aid, and suggested I find a druid, or shaman to tend to Nemeiah's injuries - An'she's light and the Holy Light would mend her wounds, but also cause her great pain. Fortunately, Etamalgren was nearby. While he tended to Nemeiah, Theran crawled from the pond, dazed. Smoke poured from the door on his back. I approached him, still angry. I wanted him to pay for what he had done... but... I did not expect him to ask me to end his life. He regained his senses again, for the moment, and said that he felt his time had come.

I have brought his body to the tribe's graveyard, and asked Kazak'guul to lay him to rest. Nemeiah has said she will pray for him, for the Light to soothe his spirit. I pray as well, that the Earth Mother will have mercy on him, and that he returns to her.

I do not know how I feel, now. I am upset, for I am responsible for the death of one I had called brother, one who has helped me to become who I am today. But, I am still angry, at him for his actions, and myself, for my inaction. I failed to protect my friend from harm... she could have been killed and I would not have been able to save her.

A Good Day

My day yesterday was long and accomplished. The tribe's crops are plentiful and healthy, and the Regent's study is tidy and organized. I still have not seen any trace of armadillo in the farm, despite Annjia's warning long ago. I wonder now if I have been fortunate to not have seen any, or if this concern is false.

Later, I went to the raptor pens to visit my raptor, and took it out to the plains to give it some practice and exercise. Together, we had come across another attack on a nearby camp by some quilboar, and aided in the defense of it. I believe my raptor is pleased. I have not found a name for my raptor, nor do I know if it is male or female. I shall speak with Zau'tal sometime, and ask about this. Perhaps this raptor has been named already?

I returned to the mesa where Pipiltin taught the tribe how to speak with the wind, to meditate further and speak with the wind, again. Later, Pipiltin would tell me that the wind spirits are mischievous, and my attempt at conversation is proof of this. Any questions I had were often met with vague answers, or more questions. There were numerous times when the wind tried to carry my hat away... as I think about it, I am reminded of Keikio, and how she had tricked me the first time we met.

At the end of this day, I came to Orgrimmar, satisfied with what I had done. I would find Pipiltin and Urukha under the tree, speaking about animal spirits... Urukha wishes to be bound to the spirit of the wolf. I think it is fitting - the wolf is a leader, and cares much for its pack, its family. She has always put the tribe first in her decisions, and would defend the tribe from harm even if it would put her at risk. Pipiltin asked if I had tried to speak with the other elements, then offered to show me where I might have ease speaking with the spirits of water. I look forward to this.

Then, Annjia brought news to me about Nemeiah - she had done something very hard, and was recovering at her home in Tyr's Hand. I shall make an attempt to visit Nemeiah soon. Strangely, Annjia was not wearing her armor... I asked if it had become damaged again, for that was the only other time I had seen her in plain clothing outside of the tribe's gatherings. This time, though, she said that it was too warm, and was dressed lightly because of the heat. I have not seen her do this before.

Annjia, Urukha, and the Burning Tusks

After the tribe's first lesson in spirit walking this past Sunday, I spoke with Pipiltin, and she had mentioned that Annjia no longer considered herself a friend of the Burning Tusks. I did not like to hear this, and was not aware that there was a problem between her and the tribe. I sought out Annjia, and found her in Orgrimmar two nights later.

At the risk of causing her grief or anger, I spoke of what Pipiltin told me two days ago. To my relief, Annjia did not become upset with me, and we talked about what has happened. It appears that Urukha and Annjia are at odds with one another. I would later learn from Urukha that Annjia had departed somewhere for a time, and felt she had changed after her return. Annjia refuses to speak of what she had done during her absence, and Urukha feels that this secret may threaten the Burning Tusks. I have not sensed a change in the way Annjia looks, or acts, but at the same time, I understand how Urukha feels. A number of horrible things have befallen the tribe in the past months, one of which I had fallen victim to. She wishes to keep the tribe safe while it is in her care... but... at the same time, I do not think Annjia and her secret is a threat to us. I do not know what to believe.

I have angered Urukha. She had believed that she made the decision that Annjia would not be a friend of the Burning Tusks, but last night, Pipiltin and I explained that we had spoken with Annjia about this, and that it was Annjia that had withdrawn on her own decision. Urukha became very angry, and left us. She would later speak to me in private though the talisman, and express her disappointment that I did not tell her about this. I feel I have hurt one I hold close enough to call sister. I became upset for angering her, but Pipiltin assured me that I am not at fault. She had assumed Urukha already knew about this, and Annjia told me to attend to my own matters, and worry not about this. Pipiltin believes that Urukha will soon forgive me for my mistake... I pray so.

Listening to the Wind

The tribe's first lesson in spirit walking was last night. Pipiltin led us through the lesson, and joining me in learning was Urukha, Zeyda'lei, Kazak'guul, and Maugus, an undead human warlock that has recently returned to the tribe after becoming wayward for some time.

We began by telling each other about what we do, or where we look for our power. I, of course, look to An'she and earn my abilities from his light, and from the spirits of my ancestors. Of the others, I learned that Pipiltin speaks with the spirits of the land in Winterspring. Urukha looks to her ancestors as well, and wishes to be bound to the spirit of the wolf. Zeyda'lei feels that she draws the power of light from within her heart, and Kazak'guul earns his abilities from his Loa, "the Bwon." I am disturbed, however, by Maugus's powers... he says power through fel is granted through pacts with demons, and by harvesting the spirits of the dead. The others seemed as shocked as I was at this, and Kazak'guul was clearly angered at this.

Pipiltin continued with the lesson after this. We were to be seated, and to relax however we felt most comfortable. I removed my helmet and gauntlets, to feel the grass and earth below me, and the wind around me. I closed my eyes, and breathed calmly, and to my surprise... I heard the wind laugh and speak to me. I do not know what I have done differently this time, but I am much more at ease now. Pipiltin offered to show me other places in the world where I may find it easier to commune with the elements, and I plan to travel to these places to meditate.

I think, maybe, that I was blessed with good fortune by the Holy Light. Prior to this lesson, I traveled to the Eastern Plaguelands in hopes of aiding the Argent Crusade in its cleansing of the land. I went to Tyr's Hand after this to visit Nemeiah, and found her with Annjia in the library. We spoke with each other briefly, and when I said I would be leaving, Nemeiah lent to me a string of beads that aided her in her prayers, as a token of good fortune. I held onto these beads during the lesson. Afterward, I wrote a letter to Nemeiah thanking her for allowing me to carry these, and asked her to tell me when she would be travelling to Kalimdor next so I may return them to her.

War

The tribe is at war, now, with the spirit of a mother worm. I have heard that the illnesses that befell some of my family, and were only recently cured, come from this spirit. It has been held at bay for now, but Urukha feels that this is not enough. We must lay this spirit to eternal rest, or else we may suffer further. Pipiltin will be training me, and others, as Spirit Walkers, to defend the tribe from dangers from the spirit realm.

I am worried. When I was only a calf, I attempted to learn the ways of the spirit world. I wished to be a shaman, like my mother, but as hard as I listened, I could not hear the spirits of the earth. Pipiltin assures me she will be able to teach me what I need to know to become a Spirit Walker, and I pray that our efforts will not be in vain. She has told me to do things to please An'she and the Earth Mother.

Lughnasadh

Last night, the tribe celebrated Lughnasadh. I am unsure what this means... perhaps I shall ask Siuliaruin next time I see her.

What I am aware of is that it is a day of bonding. I had arrived late to the celebration, and saw the end of a bonding ritual between Zeyda'lei and Zau'tal. If I am understanding this correctly, they are not lifemated, but it is a similar ritual, to last until Lughnasadh next year. I am happy for them, and especially Zeyda'lei. She had told me of things troubling her once before and found she had travelled a rocky path in life, and to see her happy and finding family in the tribe makes me feel happy.

We began to share things we had created. A troll named Etsuni had joined us in our celebration, but I did not notice her until after Siuliaruin finished the ritual. I am aware she wishes to become part of the tribe. She showed us her talents as a scribe, bestowing us with hardened skin from a glyph she had recently learned how to create. Siuliaruin had a potion that affects the mind much like the one Mukwa had created for himself. Zau'tal showed us two weapons he created - an arrowhead that creates noise in flight to disrupt those who fight with the power of the earth, arcane, or demons, and a type of weapon I have not seen before, capable of returning to its owner after being thrown. I did not have anything to show... instead, I recited the song about apples I created from Truth or Dare with Pipiltin. I felt a little foolish, but Vivvienne, Etsuni, and Siuliaruin believed it to be a good song.

Amidst this, a few death knights had descended upon us and began to bother us. I planted myself firm and prepared to fight if needed, but it seems they only wished to disrupt our ceremony, and not cause actual harm. When it was clear to them that they were not welcome, they left us alone. I was relieved, for I am unsure if we would have been victorious in battle against them. Still, I would not have hesitated to lay my life down to protect my family and the one wishing to join us. If that was to be the end of my life... then I would have fallen knowing that I had done so selflessly and with honor, and that my spirit would return to live with the Earth Mother, and my ancestors.