Another Night at the Faire

Tonight... this morning has gone in a bad direction.

I invited the tribe to come out to the Darkmoon Faire and play Truth or Dare, a game I have enjoyed in the past and have not played in a while. It is a good way to learn more of my Brothers and Sisters, though often the dares asked of others are very lewd... fortunately, I have been spared such things. Though, I was asked to remove my clothing and approach one of the Faire's carnies, to give them a hug. The human I had found did not appreciate this gesture.

This gathering was good. But, I had decided to be fired from the cannon before I returned home for the night... I find excitement in the short flight. Unfortunately, the cannon had misfired this time, and I was shot headfirst into a tree. Blood poured from my nose, and I could not move my head without great pain in my neck. Aelandir was nearby, and summoned his flying machine to try to pull me from the tree. The attempt was unsuccessful, and I fell from the tree, onto my back... my shield. Aelandir appeared to have fallen from his flying machine, and I think I may have hit him as I fell.

He was able to mend my injuries, but I was told not to sleep for the next 2 hours. I have sat in my hut, writing to pass time. Pipiltin and Urukha's lifemating celebration is on Sunday night, and I had thought it good to prepare a story to tell. I am having difficulty finding the words I wish to say, though. My head hurts.

My Ideal Mate

At the end of our tribal meetings, we choose a single person among us and place them into what we call our "circle of questions." They are asked a single question by each person in the circle we stand in, and then are able to turn to one of us and pose a question of their own. Last night, I found myself being asked the final question, by Urukha.

"Describe your ideal mate."

This is not the first time that I have been asked a question like this, and it is something that I have not put very much thought into. Urukha once before had asked me a similar question, and a few days before, Annjia had asked me if I had a mate. I was once told by an elder shu'halo, that searching for a lifemate is something that is best to wait upon, and that I have my entire life before me. But, I have been told by others that perhaps I am in need of a mate, to care for me in my times of need, and to have a companion I may share my experiences with.

Last night, I was placed in a very uncomfortable situation, and did not have an answer ready to such a question. I tried to give an answer, but I was not sure if it was the true answer, or if it was complete. I have since slept upon the question and given more thought to it...

I suppose I must first be able to call my mate a friend. I must be able to trust her, to be by my side when I need her, and she must be able to put the same trust in me. She must be patient and understanding, for there are many things I still do not know, of the world and of myself. She should share my love of children, for it would give us both great joy when a child is born to us. Above all else, she must be kind towards myself, my friends, and my family.

These things I believe would allow me to live happily with the female I wish to call my mate. Though, I am again wondering when I will find her, or when she will find me. How will I know when we have found each other?

Farewell Before Introduction

Our Tuskguard is led by Jindal. He is our General. I do not know this shu'halo very well, for I have not had much chance to speak with him. But I do know that he has been with the tribe for a very long time, and in the times I have seen him, he is very focused on his duties.

I write this because he came before us this past Thursday, and told us of something that many of us did not know, for he does not speak much of his own troubles. He had been unable to come to terms with the death of his mate, Dustrunner, and yesterday, he held a funeral for him. I did not know him, but I am aware that he was a Burning Tusk, and I wished to pay my respects for a fallen Brother. Pipiltin and the General shared stories of Dustrunner, and I wished I had been able to meet him. He was a true Burningtusk from what I have heard, and I pray that he walks with the Earth Mother, now.

I also pray that the General is able to move on, and begin healing. He says he does not wish to trouble us with his problems, but I will let him know that I am willing to listen, should there be something troubling him. I do not know if I would be able to help, but I may try.

Under My Wing

To my surprise, Maengun chose to attend last night's tribal meeting. As I expected of her, she spoke quietly and sparsely, and seemed withdrawn. Afterward, I approached to speak with her, to ask how she fared... I did not have this chance during the night of the solstice, when she left us early in the night.

We sat under Mu'sha's watchful gaze for a time and spoke of many things. She confided in me that she was shy, and wished to know some more of the others in the tribe. She was interested to know if there were many more shu'halo in the tribe, and how many of them were female, to find others to bond with. As I write this, I remember that she only had her father during her childhood, and has been alone ever since she ran from him. She has not known anyone she might call mother. I can only name two females in our tribe, and I have not seen either in very long. She had said that she would try to speak with females of other races... I hope that they can offer the bond that she seeks. She also seeks to better herself in the ways of the elements. I suggested she seek out Pipiltin... I do not know if there is anything for her to learn. I still see the smoking corpse of the devilsaur in my sleep, at times. Though, I am not a shaman, and I have proven my incompetence in such things before. Despite this, Pipiltin had somehow opened my ears to the spirits. I think, if there is anything that Maengun must know, it is Pipiltin that will show her.

As I am unable to help her in the ways she needs, I had offered to take her under my wing... to allow her to come to me if she felt lost, as others, especially Pipiltin, had done for me when I was an initiate. I was not sure what to expect... on one hand, I thought she would reject my offer, and say that it would not be necessary. But, I have seen that she has begun to open her heart to me... she spoke of a painful memory before, and just earlier asked me to hold a secret for her. She thanked me. I am happy, for I now certain that she sees me as a friend. I pray she will soon open up to others in the tribe, and find a place in our family.

An Eventful Week

On Monday, I was approached by an orc claiming to be a Sergeant in the Horde army. I do not remember his name. He proceeded to accuse me of murder, and attempted to execute me on the spot. He might have been successful, if not for Nystia, Xhea, and Urukha coming to my aid, as well as a Pandaren stranger. I walked away with no more than a half-mended axe wound to my left shoulder, though Nystia was less fortunate. She had nearly died in an attempt to knock down my assailant; he retaliated swiftly and nearly cut her in two. Luckily, she survived just barely, and Urukha tended to her wounds. The orc is dead, I believe... he was no Sergeant. His actions were dishonorable and unjust - a real Sergeant would have brought me to his superiors. Urukha has told me that I must take care and give careful thought to who I trust.

I have never been able to mend myself or others fully with An'she's light, so I retreated to my hut for two days to tend to my wound. I grew restless, and called out to Nystia over the talisman, in hopes we could meet and talk over a drink in Orgrimmar. She was unable to do so, but allowed me to visit her at her home in Northrend, in the Grizzly Hills. We spoke of things we did in the time I was gone, and she gave to me a salve made of Zangarmarsh mushrooms that numbed the pain in my shoulder. She also allowed me to spend the night... I pray I did not intrude upon her and her mate. She claims that I owe her no debt, but I will forever remember her actions that saved my life.

At last night's meeting, I reintroduced myself to my family, and saw many new faces. Scynthe and Vivvienne introduced a new child to the tribe, born just a few days ago. I have, for a long time, found great joy in children... this world is full of much hardship and strife, and to see a child in all of its innocence warms my heart. It is my hope that soon I will find a mate, and begin a family... but I do not know when this will be. I asked them if I might hold their child, who is not named at this time. They allowed this, and Vivvienne placed the infant into my hands. As the tiny child rested on my fingers, I was able to truly appreciate this new life, and as such how fragile and delicate a life can be. I asked Scynthe and Vivvienne if I might be allowed to leave the child with the blessings of the Earth Mother and An'she; they granted me their permissions. I did so, and gave him a formal greeting before giving him back to his mother. It is a beautiful child, and I hope his life will be filled with good things.

Afterwards, I spoke with Urukha, telling her of my travels while she told me of things that happened in my absence. She asked me to check upon Nemeiah... which I had done earlier in the day, coincidentally. We spoke of the orc, and she offered her healing abilities to the tribe should they be needed. She also mentioned searching for the reason why speaking to the Light hurts her so, and finding a way to prevent it. I pray she is successful, and that this will not cause her any more needless harm. Despite this, Annjia and Urukha still do not speak to one another... it is not my place, but I wish they would talk and find a solution to whatever problem there is. I have not forgotten the incident from those months ago.

As the night came to an end, I was presented with one more familiar face... but I will write on this another time. There are things I must do now.

I Have Returned

Yesterday, after three long months, I have finally returned home, to my family, and my friends. It has been too long.

I returned to the Burning Ravine first... it was quiet, and nobody was to be found. I found a notice about a gathering later in the evening in the commons... a "night of debauchery," and went to my hut to find the clothing needed. My hut was just as it was when I departed. I found my robe and hat, a leather harness and loincloth I recieved from the Regent some time ago, then this journal. I wanted to write in it then and record what had happened to me while I was gone, but my desire to find someone and speak with them was greater. I changed into my robe and departed for Orgrimmar, to sit by the tree in the Valley of Honor.

I sat for some time, watching others pass by. It felt good to be in the city again, though now there are people in the city that look like bears. I learned later that they are called "Pandaren." I was eventually joined by Gren'mazi and Nemeiah, both of whom were very pleased to see me. The feeling was mutual. Gren'mazi wished to know what I had done in my time away, and Nemeiah expressed concern for my well-being. She said she had been to a place called "Pandaria" looking for someone, but afterwards spent some time there to admire the land - she says it is quite beautiful. I must go there sometime.

I attended the night of debauchery, eager to see my family again, and changed my clothing to the harness and loincloth I carried. The gathering was a contest to determine who was most appealing while wearing the least amount of clothing. I do not remember much of the night... there was a very tasty alcohol being served, and I know that I drank too much. I remember vague images of Jindal and Urukha doing things I did not expect of them, and the reactions of others towards something Urukha did while being judged. I also remember winning something, a tankard holding a strange rabbit-like creature. I do not know what it is called.

I also vaguely remember being in Orgrimmar while drunk, and talking with some people... I believe a pandaren and a goblin. I think Nemeiah was there, as well. I hope I did not do or say anything foolish in my drunken state. My head pounds still, even long into the day. I have not left the hut, and writing this has taken much effort. But I am still happy to be back with my family, despite the pain.

Departure

I have decided that I must train myself further.

I have spoken with Pipiltin and Urukha about this. While I do not feel shame or remorse for the things I should not, I feel as though I am... missing something. I wonder what else there is to know about myself, and An'she. Theran had taught me much, and my travels about the world had bestowed more knowledge upon me, but I cannot help but feel that there is more.

I will be meeting the other Sunwalkers in Thunder Bluff, and I wish to learn more from them, and hone my ability in combat and the defense of my family, and friends. I understand this will be difficult, and may take a long time. I will leave this journal in my hut, for the tribe to find should something should happen to me.

I will admit, I fear that with my departure, the Burning Tusks may disappear as my birth tribe had. I shall keep my talisman close to my heart, and pray that the An'she's gaze warms them and keeps a careful vigil so that I may return to them, stronger and able to protect them from harm.

Until ash.

Annjia, Urukha, and the Burning Tusks

After the tribe's first lesson in spirit walking this past Sunday, I spoke with Pipiltin, and she had mentioned that Annjia no longer considered herself a friend of the Burning Tusks. I did not like to hear this, and was not aware that there was a problem between her and the tribe. I sought out Annjia, and found her in Orgrimmar two nights later.

At the risk of causing her grief or anger, I spoke of what Pipiltin told me two days ago. To my relief, Annjia did not become upset with me, and we talked about what has happened. It appears that Urukha and Annjia are at odds with one another. I would later learn from Urukha that Annjia had departed somewhere for a time, and felt she had changed after her return. Annjia refuses to speak of what she had done during her absence, and Urukha feels that this secret may threaten the Burning Tusks. I have not sensed a change in the way Annjia looks, or acts, but at the same time, I understand how Urukha feels. A number of horrible things have befallen the tribe in the past months, one of which I had fallen victim to. She wishes to keep the tribe safe while it is in her care... but... at the same time, I do not think Annjia and her secret is a threat to us. I do not know what to believe.

I have angered Urukha. She had believed that she made the decision that Annjia would not be a friend of the Burning Tusks, but last night, Pipiltin and I explained that we had spoken with Annjia about this, and that it was Annjia that had withdrawn on her own decision. Urukha became very angry, and left us. She would later speak to me in private though the talisman, and express her disappointment that I did not tell her about this. I feel I have hurt one I hold close enough to call sister. I became upset for angering her, but Pipiltin assured me that I am not at fault. She had assumed Urukha already knew about this, and Annjia told me to attend to my own matters, and worry not about this. Pipiltin believes that Urukha will soon forgive me for my mistake... I pray so.

Listening to the Wind

The tribe's first lesson in spirit walking was last night. Pipiltin led us through the lesson, and joining me in learning was Urukha, Zeyda'lei, Kazak'guul, and Maugus, an undead human warlock that has recently returned to the tribe after becoming wayward for some time.

We began by telling each other about what we do, or where we look for our power. I, of course, look to An'she and earn my abilities from his light, and from the spirits of my ancestors. Of the others, I learned that Pipiltin speaks with the spirits of the land in Winterspring. Urukha looks to her ancestors as well, and wishes to be bound to the spirit of the wolf. Zeyda'lei feels that she draws the power of light from within her heart, and Kazak'guul earns his abilities from his Loa, "the Bwon." I am disturbed, however, by Maugus's powers... he says power through fel is granted through pacts with demons, and by harvesting the spirits of the dead. The others seemed as shocked as I was at this, and Kazak'guul was clearly angered at this.

Pipiltin continued with the lesson after this. We were to be seated, and to relax however we felt most comfortable. I removed my helmet and gauntlets, to feel the grass and earth below me, and the wind around me. I closed my eyes, and breathed calmly, and to my surprise... I heard the wind laugh and speak to me. I do not know what I have done differently this time, but I am much more at ease now. Pipiltin offered to show me other places in the world where I may find it easier to commune with the elements, and I plan to travel to these places to meditate.

I think, maybe, that I was blessed with good fortune by the Holy Light. Prior to this lesson, I traveled to the Eastern Plaguelands in hopes of aiding the Argent Crusade in its cleansing of the land. I went to Tyr's Hand after this to visit Nemeiah, and found her with Annjia in the library. We spoke with each other briefly, and when I said I would be leaving, Nemeiah lent to me a string of beads that aided her in her prayers, as a token of good fortune. I held onto these beads during the lesson. Afterward, I wrote a letter to Nemeiah thanking her for allowing me to carry these, and asked her to tell me when she would be travelling to Kalimdor next so I may return them to her.

War

The tribe is at war, now, with the spirit of a mother worm. I have heard that the illnesses that befell some of my family, and were only recently cured, come from this spirit. It has been held at bay for now, but Urukha feels that this is not enough. We must lay this spirit to eternal rest, or else we may suffer further. Pipiltin will be training me, and others, as Spirit Walkers, to defend the tribe from dangers from the spirit realm.

I am worried. When I was only a calf, I attempted to learn the ways of the spirit world. I wished to be a shaman, like my mother, but as hard as I listened, I could not hear the spirits of the earth. Pipiltin assures me she will be able to teach me what I need to know to become a Spirit Walker, and I pray that our efforts will not be in vain. She has told me to do things to please An'she and the Earth Mother.

Lughnasadh

Last night, the tribe celebrated Lughnasadh. I am unsure what this means... perhaps I shall ask Siuliaruin next time I see her.

What I am aware of is that it is a day of bonding. I had arrived late to the celebration, and saw the end of a bonding ritual between Zeyda'lei and Zau'tal. If I am understanding this correctly, they are not lifemated, but it is a similar ritual, to last until Lughnasadh next year. I am happy for them, and especially Zeyda'lei. She had told me of things troubling her once before and found she had travelled a rocky path in life, and to see her happy and finding family in the tribe makes me feel happy.

We began to share things we had created. A troll named Etsuni had joined us in our celebration, but I did not notice her until after Siuliaruin finished the ritual. I am aware she wishes to become part of the tribe. She showed us her talents as a scribe, bestowing us with hardened skin from a glyph she had recently learned how to create. Siuliaruin had a potion that affects the mind much like the one Mukwa had created for himself. Zau'tal showed us two weapons he created - an arrowhead that creates noise in flight to disrupt those who fight with the power of the earth, arcane, or demons, and a type of weapon I have not seen before, capable of returning to its owner after being thrown. I did not have anything to show... instead, I recited the song about apples I created from Truth or Dare with Pipiltin. I felt a little foolish, but Vivvienne, Etsuni, and Siuliaruin believed it to be a good song.

Amidst this, a few death knights had descended upon us and began to bother us. I planted myself firm and prepared to fight if needed, but it seems they only wished to disrupt our ceremony, and not cause actual harm. When it was clear to them that they were not welcome, they left us alone. I was relieved, for I am unsure if we would have been victorious in battle against them. Still, I would not have hesitated to lay my life down to protect my family and the one wishing to join us. If that was to be the end of my life... then I would have fallen knowing that I had done so selflessly and with honor, and that my spirit would return to live with the Earth Mother, and my ancestors.

Tyr's Hand

Last night, I encountered Annjia in Orgrimmar. We spoke briefly, and were joined by Pipiltin. I had been searching for Urukha to ask if I may travel to Tyr's Hand now that Annjia tells me it is safe, and hoped that one of them might have seen her that day. Sadly, they knew as little of her whereabouts as I. Annjia stated she was leaving for Tyr's Hand and invited me to come, but I could not, not until I had spoken with Urukha. Fortunately, I would find her later that night and she would grant me permission to visit Tyr's Hand.

I had heard from Pipiltin that there was a restless worm spirit living in the Western Plaguelands, responsible for the illness the tribe had overcome only recently. I thought it prudent to borrow a wind rider from the tribe, and flew over Tirisfal Glades and the Western Plaguelands. I could not fly over the Eastern Plaguelands; the road to Tyr's Hand was as Nemeiah warned. As I came to a bridge, the air and clouds started to become thick, and the land was dying. The wind rider refused to continue past this point... I do not blame him for this. He agreed to stay by the river to wait for my return, and I travelled the road by foot.

My arrival in Tyr's Hand was relieving. The earth was still ill and Mu'sha's light could not touch us, but the air did not suffocate. Annjia and Nemeiah found me, and Nemeiah was quite pleased to see me - I received a hug. Unfortunately, Annjia could not stay, and returned home to deliver a package she carried. Nemeiah then led me around Tyr's Hand, showing me how she and the other members of the Argent Crusade lived. The buildings were large, and carried a certain kind of beauty, though they felt cold to me - I find more comfort in the huts often built by my people, from wood and animal skins, rather than the stone and cloth favored by the humans.

During her tour, Nemeiah showed me a library, though all of the books within were written in the humans' tongue, Common. She offered to translate anything she might think I would like. In return, later, I had offered her the tribe's help with tending to a garden she wished to grow behind the building she lived within, should they be willing to do this. She was surprised at this offer and thought it to be much too kind, but I thought it to be fair if she were to begin translating a book from her library for me.

Urukha

Urukha is an orc in the Burning Tusk Tribe, and Pipiltin's mate. As I have written, we met first in Northrend at the jousting tournament, where I was first introduced to the Burning Tusks. She is a huntress, but like her mate, is also in tune with the spirits of the land.

Despite our differences in race, Urukha and Pipiltin are the closest things to siblings to me that anyone could ever come, as I had been born an only child. While I had not been drawn to her initially, with Pipiltin as my mentor I could often and easily find Urukha when Pipiltin was unavailable, usually under the tree in Orgrimmar. She would always be willing to listen to what I had to say, and to help me where it was needed. Over time we grew closer, enough for her to come up with a term of endearment for me, "Big K," a name which she calls me to this day.

For some time I was not sure of how close we were as friends... no, as family. This changed one night, however; Pipiltin had become gravely injured while helping the tribe find a cure for an illness, and to mend her, I believe I was told that Urukha had channeled some consciousness through Do'xian to do so... or was it the other way around? This resulted in Do'xian gaining some of Urukha's memories. I approached him following this and he turned to me on the verge of tears, to tell me I was just like a brother to him, something I had not ever seen him do before to anyone. When I had later revisited this memory with a rational mind, I realized that Do'xian spoke as though he was Urukha, and was I honored to find that an elder of the tribe considered me to be one of her own.

I have noticed that Urukha is very concerned with appearance, of her own and those around her. I found this strange at first, as she is missing an eye... I have seen many hide such injuries as this. However it was not until later that I learned she did wear an eye patch until Pipiltin insisted she remove it. I feel that this concern is silly. I have always seen clothing as a tool to protect one's body from the elements, and in recent times, to protect others' eyes from what they do not wish to see. I have never seen clothing or armor as more than this, however Urukha has insisted on clothing me in garments I normally would not wear. I will admit I feel foolish when she insists I wear something new, though the garments she gives to me manage to be very comfortable while satisfying her standards of appearance.

I do miss the hide vest I lost the night I traveled to Elwynn in my sleep... I wonder what has happened to it?

Discomfort

After our meeting last night, Pipiltin, Urukha, and I gathered as we usually do in the Regent's study after the tribe's weekly meeting. This is a time when the elders sit in wait to listen to the concerns of the tribe, and when I, as the tribe's head scribe, record the important things said during the meeting onto parchment to be kept safe for the future.

This night, as it would seem typical lately, was quiet. Only the three of us occupied the hut all night, and Urukha and Pipiltin discussed their matters while I focused on my work. My concentration would break, however, on a certain point of discussion: things we do when nervous or upset. Pipiltin attempted to conceal her feelings about something troubling her, but Urukha pointed out that when she did this, she would rub at her neck. Pipiltin became frustrated, but Urukha noted that many did such things, myself included. I was made aware that I tend to scratch at my mane behind my ear when I am troubled, and Urukha draws symbols in the air with her fingers when she is nervous or upset. I do not think I would have noticed these things if they were not said.

As the hour came to a close, Pipiltin began to speak of an endeavor they were working on, and procured a scroll. Intrigued, I asked what this was about, and she told me that Za had given her a scroll describing different positions two people could take. At first I had assumed she spoke of combat stances, to improve how one would defend themselves or fend off an attacker. To my surprise, it was a list of different ways two people could mate. She happily showed me the list and explained a number of them, but I could not look at the scroll, or her... I will admit that I am intrigued by the contents of the scroll, however I did not want to think of Pipiltin and Urukha in the act of mating. I was also made uncomfortable by the fact that I have not found a mate of my own, and wondered if this scroll is something I should have been looking at. I do hope I have not done something to disappoint or anger my ancestors...

Honoring the Flames

Yesterday evening I spent much time in Orgrimmar, listening to the Midsummer tale weaver's stories of Midsummers past. His tales gave to me a better understanding of this celebration, and inspired me to honor the flames this year. I was also moved to snuff the bonfires lit by those deemed enemy of the Horde, upon hearing tales of atrocities committed by them during this festival.

I returned to the Ravine to gather my armor and prepare, asking one of the Wind Riders in the service of the tribe if it would not mind helping me in this task. While reluctant due to my weight, he agreed to help me in this task, and we set out for Orgrimmar. I called out to the tribe on my talisman to share my intentions, and Nystia, Caelyssa, Siuliaruin, and an initiate I had not met before, named Alexir, responded to my call. We gathered at the zeppelin tower and began to plan our route through the Eastern Kingdoms, beginning in Strangled Thorns Vale and travelling north.

Our travels were safe until we reached Goldshire, where we were ambushed by a group intent on protecting their bonfire. I attempted to fend off the attackers to the best of my ability, but we were overwhelmed. I am not sure of what happened to the others, but for a time I was knocked unconscious and left for dead. I came to my senses near Siuliaruin, and the others eventually found us. My head ached, but I thought little of it and pressed on... this would come back to me later in dwarven land. I became dizzy and unable to stand. Nystia offered to take me home, and Siuliaruin created a portal to Thunder Bluff for me.

I slept at an inn in Thunder Bluff on Pipiltin's recommendation, and awoke with no ails. I pray that the others are safe and in good health, and wonder if they had decided to press on without me. I believe I am feeling well enough to continue our quest tomorrow night, but I must prepare. I will tell the tribe of this tonight at our circle.

Foolish

Lately I have noticed I am more tired than usual, though I am unsure if it is a remnant of the cured affliction, or if I am attempting to do more than I am able. Last night I had come to a lesson on fire-weaving, held by Nystia in celebration of Midsummer, and made a fool of myself with an unlit torch. I had thrown it into the air and watched carefully where it had gone to catch it, but misjudged where it was in my fatigue... it landed on my nose instead of in my hand, and I fell down in surprise.

Tired and embarassed, I excused myself from the others there to retire to my hut for the night. I will seek out Nystia another time to learn how to juggle the torch, when I have my wits about me.

Midsummer Celebration

Last night the Burning Tusks gathered to celebrate midsummer, the time of the year when An'she's light has reached the height of its power, and when his light begins to yield to Mu'sha's. It is as much a time of celebration as it is a time of mourning, and like Noblegarden it is a celebration of life.

Siuliaruin hosted the tribe's celebration, and required that we wear as little as possible, or no clothing at all. We were brought to a forest with a lake and "faerie dragons", a type of creature I had never seen before. We were all given a circlet made from the leaves and sticks of the trees around us, and then we were brought to the lake. Siuliaruin told us to consider our bad memories, and to let the water take them away in its ebb and flow.

I thought of everything that had happened to me and Ferak over the past weeks... the nightmares, the whispers, the ritual... and fell into the lake. The water was refreshing, and I felt as if the weight of these painful memories was indeed cleansed from my heart. The others seemed to have felt the same way. I saw Ura and Pipiltin chasing one another playfully. Gren'mazi gave the tribe an interesting show of fire on the water's surface. Even Mukwa attempted to enjoy the swimming despite feeling tired, and later I would see that his spirits had been lifted greatly.

We bore witness to a rare and beautiful sight on returning to the forest: the faerie dragons had decided to bless our celebration. They gathered around the ring of mushrooms we had intended to enter and bathed it in a glowing light of many colors. I was struck with awe at this sight, and Siuliaruin noted that to see such a thing was very rare. We proceeded then to light a bonfire, feast, and dance. There were stories to be told, unfortunately I was too tired to join them to listen, or share. I excused myself and thanked Siuliaruin for bringing us to this place before dressing myself and returning home.

As the seasons change and An'she's light begins to dim again, I am reminded of the passing of time, of the families I have been a part of since I left my birth tribe, and of those I speak with or fight alongside. Faces, spirits, and the desires of those I know have and always will change, but one thing is absolute: I will do all I can to protect and aid those I know and love.

Until ash.

More Peace

At last, the madness has ended.

On Saturday night, our tribe had traveled to the temple of Ahn'Qiraj to perform a ritual to cleanse the pendant, and ourselves, of Yogg-Saron. The expedition was a success, but it had taken quite a toll on everyone. I do not wish to recall what I have experienced, even in the privacy of my journal... just that a few of us had nearly died.

Nonetheless, the visions and whispers have ended, my blood has returned to its normal color, and I am no longer wracked with a stinging pain that came in waves. I believe the others have also been cured of any affliction, but I am not without worry. Aevelina was among the group, and when I learned of this at the start, I expressed my concern for the safety of her and her unborn child. She replied that she was aware of the dangers we were to face and that she wished to help the tribe be rid of this curse, but after the things I have experienced, I do not think I could forgive myself if something were to befall the child before its birth. I pray the Earth Mother cares for the child in the womb, and that it be protected from harm.

I have not seen anyone since that night... in fact, I have only encountered Annjia since then. I must find the others soon.

It Begins Again

As I feared, Yogg-Saron still taunts me. I am seeing the val'kyr once again, and her whispers attempt to turn me against those around me. I am better prepared this time.

Two nights ago, Mukwa had shown me this strange puzzle box he had found in Storm Peaks, in Northrend some time ago, and asked me to solve it. The puzzle was confusing... I do not think it is possible to solve it. However, when I started making progress, I heard her whisper again... much clearer and louder than before. All doubts Mukwa and I had were cast away at that moment: Yogg-Saron was attempting to influence me.

I had sought out Zelevia for advice before this, and my meeting with Mukwa echoed her advice: I must focus on what is real, or I will lose myself to madness. Mukwa told me to think of one thing that is real, and to focus on it and only it if Yogg-Saron speaks to me or appears before me... it has worked, so far. Every time I have seen something strange or heard a whisper in my ear, I think of an apple... my favorite food. Pipiltin's favorite food.

Yesterday I had encountered Zitajie in the passage between the Drag and the Valley of Honor; we had passed each other by, and I did not recognize her at first. We spoke briefly and I relayed my concerns about my mind to her... she ran off to find someone else, and told me not to leave the city. Unfortunately, at this time I was summoned to what I would later learn to be a mountain in Azshara for a party run by Aevelina and Caelyssa. I did not wish to disappoint them, so against Zitajie's advice, I allowed myself to be summoned. There was food and games, as most Burning Tusk gatherings have, and I enjoyed myself.

However, I became separated from the group during a game of Hide and Seek. While searching for Kalenar, I thought I had seen him, and followed him away from the mountain... and before my eyes, he vanished. It began to storm, and my talisman would not work. I do not doubt that this is Yogg-Saron's work, as I found that I was in the midst of a night elven parol route with no weapon or shield to protect myself with... only the shorts at my waist. Over time I had managed to safely make it back to Orgrimmar, then here to the Burning Ravine. I shall speak with the others... perhaps someone had gathered my items I left at the mountain.

I must be more careful with what I see, or do. I pray that the Earth Mother can intervene and show me the true path in these times. I do not wish to fall victim to the very thing that afflicted our ancestors.

Make It Stop

She does not stop. I see her amongst the crowds in the city, in the distance as I travel a path, sometimes right next to me when I turn around. Sometimes she is my mother. Sometimes she is Theran. Sometimes she is the Regent, Urukha, Pipiltin, Ferak, or others in the tribe. She appears in my dreams. Always staring, sometimes speaking to remind me of my failures. I have not rested well for three nights.

Ferak has experienced similar things. I hope he is not as worn as me. The tribe works to find an answer to this problem. I pray for strength, and for the others to quickly find the answer. I am afraid I may not last much longer...