Much Has Happened

In recent times, there has been so much happening. I have forgotten to record my thoughts on so much.

Pipiltin has been found alive and well... she was trapped in the Emerald Dream, somehow. I could not believe this to be true when I first heard of it, but I would later find that she was very much alive. I can recall only one time before that I had felt such happiness to see someone. She has lost her ability to hear the spirits, but now possesses druidic powers. Even though she is alive and my anger has been calmed, I continue to take my fight the Kor'kron in the Barrens and help the Darkspear trolls. Pipiltin's apparent death was only one transgression against what is right, and I will admit that it why I started to fight. Many still suffer by their hands.

Because of this fighting, I have found myself tired more and more, and resting by the pond in Thunder Bluff. As I did this one day, I had found a face I did not ever expect to see again: my friend Orone, from my birth tribe. We talked for a time, telling each other what we had done since I was given to the Horde army. He has been to Northrend and worked with the Cenarion Circle to try and heal the land during the war with the Lich King. He was called to work not too long after we had started talking, unfortunately, so I do not know more. Just that neither he nor I know what has become of the other Riverwatchers.

The last thing I wish to record... I had learned who Maengun's father was, a week ago. I could not believe my ears as another name I knew was called, and Maengun responded to it during our tribe's meeting... she has a family name. She had never told anyone of her family name before, and I had assumed she had none. She is Maengun Elkhoof.

She is Mukwa's child.

I had felt foolish. Her father... I had known him all this time. But as I realized this, I also remembered that his mind was destroyed. He does not remember her. I told her what I knew about Mukwa but she still wished to see him. I would not see her for a few days after this, until I found her in Bloodhoof Village. She was distraught. I can not begin to understand how she felt, then, to have searched for him for so long, only to learn that he did not remember her...

Maengun asked me, then, to never forget her. I assured her that I could not, after all we have done together. Now more than ever, I wish to be there for her... for my family... my friends. For everyone. Until ash.

Aging

Last night I spoke with Mukwa... it had been a while since I saw him last. He said he had been spending much time sleeping lately, and did not know that I had left the tribe to travel for a time. He has not learned anything new of his past, though his mind is creating new memories. He has traveled to Pandaria, and like many others, has told me it is beautiful. He also warned me of the many dangers found there, besides the sha. He says I must see the Jade Forest and Vale of Eternal Blossoms if I am to travel there.

Mukwa does not know his age as I do mine, but it is clear that the years he has seen have not been kind to him, even though he cannot remember them. He once was a part of the tribe's strike force, and helped to protect our tribe, fiercely. As with my other Brothers and Sisters who were part of the strike force, a fire burned deep within him, and even when his mind was shattered he put his entire being into protecting those he loved. But, his age has begun to weigh on him. He cannot fight for us as he had before, and told me he believes it is time he lived a more peaceful life.

Mukwa still fears his past. He feels that there may be too much hardship for him to bear, and that his health and scars are proof of this. I pray this not to be true. I told him that surely there are happy memories to be found. I suggested that perhaps his mate and daughter were one of these memories, but he feels this is not so. He had told me, however, that he would gladly tell me stories from his past, should he remember them. I look forward to this.

Lughnasadh

Last night, the tribe celebrated Lughnasadh. I am unsure what this means... perhaps I shall ask Siuliaruin next time I see her.

What I am aware of is that it is a day of bonding. I had arrived late to the celebration, and saw the end of a bonding ritual between Zeyda'lei and Zau'tal. If I am understanding this correctly, they are not lifemated, but it is a similar ritual, to last until Lughnasadh next year. I am happy for them, and especially Zeyda'lei. She had told me of things troubling her once before and found she had travelled a rocky path in life, and to see her happy and finding family in the tribe makes me feel happy.

We began to share things we had created. A troll named Etsuni had joined us in our celebration, but I did not notice her until after Siuliaruin finished the ritual. I am aware she wishes to become part of the tribe. She showed us her talents as a scribe, bestowing us with hardened skin from a glyph she had recently learned how to create. Siuliaruin had a potion that affects the mind much like the one Mukwa had created for himself. Zau'tal showed us two weapons he created - an arrowhead that creates noise in flight to disrupt those who fight with the power of the earth, arcane, or demons, and a type of weapon I have not seen before, capable of returning to its owner after being thrown. I did not have anything to show... instead, I recited the song about apples I created from Truth or Dare with Pipiltin. I felt a little foolish, but Vivvienne, Etsuni, and Siuliaruin believed it to be a good song.

Amidst this, a few death knights had descended upon us and began to bother us. I planted myself firm and prepared to fight if needed, but it seems they only wished to disrupt our ceremony, and not cause actual harm. When it was clear to them that they were not welcome, they left us alone. I was relieved, for I am unsure if we would have been victorious in battle against them. Still, I would not have hesitated to lay my life down to protect my family and the one wishing to join us. If that was to be the end of my life... then I would have fallen knowing that I had done so selflessly and with honor, and that my spirit would return to live with the Earth Mother, and my ancestors.

The Wedding

Last night was brother Westel's wedding. Unfortunately, I had returned home a few hours before the ceremony and slept through it; I am a fool.

I was brought to the celebration regardless, and a good time was had by all, I believe. Brother Mukwa had fallen down while dancing and seemed to have harmed himself, but I saw he was in good spirits. I also saw brother Qua'nah, and I believe the Regent was there; I did not know they had returned to us! Westel and Astoreth approached me a few times during the dance. I feared they would have been cross that I was not at the ceremony, however, I was pleasantly surprised to learn that they were honored by my presence nonetheless.

The tribe, and friends of Astoreth and Westel spent most of the night dancing. When the music ended, the remaining guests presented gifts to them. Zau'tal gave to them a pair of small raptors, a friend of theirs is sending them a large collection of wine, and Rhezzaka gave them some fish she had caught while in Northrend. I had no material gift for them, so I offered An'she's blessing instead, which they gladly accepted, and I relayed my best wishes and prayers for them before departing for the night.

I look around and see so many meeting their mates. I am happy for them. But with this, and other recent events, I wonder when I will find love of my own.

Midsummer Celebration

Last night the Burning Tusks gathered to celebrate midsummer, the time of the year when An'she's light has reached the height of its power, and when his light begins to yield to Mu'sha's. It is as much a time of celebration as it is a time of mourning, and like Noblegarden it is a celebration of life.

Siuliaruin hosted the tribe's celebration, and required that we wear as little as possible, or no clothing at all. We were brought to a forest with a lake and "faerie dragons", a type of creature I had never seen before. We were all given a circlet made from the leaves and sticks of the trees around us, and then we were brought to the lake. Siuliaruin told us to consider our bad memories, and to let the water take them away in its ebb and flow.

I thought of everything that had happened to me and Ferak over the past weeks... the nightmares, the whispers, the ritual... and fell into the lake. The water was refreshing, and I felt as if the weight of these painful memories was indeed cleansed from my heart. The others seemed to have felt the same way. I saw Ura and Pipiltin chasing one another playfully. Gren'mazi gave the tribe an interesting show of fire on the water's surface. Even Mukwa attempted to enjoy the swimming despite feeling tired, and later I would see that his spirits had been lifted greatly.

We bore witness to a rare and beautiful sight on returning to the forest: the faerie dragons had decided to bless our celebration. They gathered around the ring of mushrooms we had intended to enter and bathed it in a glowing light of many colors. I was struck with awe at this sight, and Siuliaruin noted that to see such a thing was very rare. We proceeded then to light a bonfire, feast, and dance. There were stories to be told, unfortunately I was too tired to join them to listen, or share. I excused myself and thanked Siuliaruin for bringing us to this place before dressing myself and returning home.

As the seasons change and An'she's light begins to dim again, I am reminded of the passing of time, of the families I have been a part of since I left my birth tribe, and of those I speak with or fight alongside. Faces, spirits, and the desires of those I know have and always will change, but one thing is absolute: I will do all I can to protect and aid those I know and love.

Until ash.

It Begins Again

As I feared, Yogg-Saron still taunts me. I am seeing the val'kyr once again, and her whispers attempt to turn me against those around me. I am better prepared this time.

Two nights ago, Mukwa had shown me this strange puzzle box he had found in Storm Peaks, in Northrend some time ago, and asked me to solve it. The puzzle was confusing... I do not think it is possible to solve it. However, when I started making progress, I heard her whisper again... much clearer and louder than before. All doubts Mukwa and I had were cast away at that moment: Yogg-Saron was attempting to influence me.

I had sought out Zelevia for advice before this, and my meeting with Mukwa echoed her advice: I must focus on what is real, or I will lose myself to madness. Mukwa told me to think of one thing that is real, and to focus on it and only it if Yogg-Saron speaks to me or appears before me... it has worked, so far. Every time I have seen something strange or heard a whisper in my ear, I think of an apple... my favorite food. Pipiltin's favorite food.

Yesterday I had encountered Zitajie in the passage between the Drag and the Valley of Honor; we had passed each other by, and I did not recognize her at first. We spoke briefly and I relayed my concerns about my mind to her... she ran off to find someone else, and told me not to leave the city. Unfortunately, at this time I was summoned to what I would later learn to be a mountain in Azshara for a party run by Aevelina and Caelyssa. I did not wish to disappoint them, so against Zitajie's advice, I allowed myself to be summoned. There was food and games, as most Burning Tusk gatherings have, and I enjoyed myself.

However, I became separated from the group during a game of Hide and Seek. While searching for Kalenar, I thought I had seen him, and followed him away from the mountain... and before my eyes, he vanished. It began to storm, and my talisman would not work. I do not doubt that this is Yogg-Saron's work, as I found that I was in the midst of a night elven parol route with no weapon or shield to protect myself with... only the shorts at my waist. Over time I had managed to safely make it back to Orgrimmar, then here to the Burning Ravine. I shall speak with the others... perhaps someone had gathered my items I left at the mountain.

I must be more careful with what I see, or do. I pray that the Earth Mother can intervene and show me the true path in these times. I do not wish to fall victim to the very thing that afflicted our ancestors.

Mukwa's Newest Potion

After the tour Sunday, I had travelled to Orgrimmar and found Mukwa and Pipiltin under the usual tree. Pipiltin ran off shortly after I had arrived, but Mukwa asked for me to stay so he could test a newer potion of his. Unable to assist in any other way, I stayed with him; I was uncomfortable with the effects of his last potion, so he told me I wouldn't have to test this one. Upon drinking it, Mukwa addressed me sternly and assured me that he was well. I was surprised, until I remembered why I was watching him.

The potion worked, and Mukwa was deep in thought. He spoke carefully and with more weight on his words than before. I am happy to see that the potion was successful, however I am worried. Normally, Mukwa is cheerful and capable of only thinking of the moment, but with the ability to see more than he was usually able to, he became troubled by his short memory, and regretful of his actions. He spoke of his mind being destroyed... what I was told about his druidic powers causing this was a myth. He told me, while it was understandable to assume this, it was not the cause of his condition. I tried to assure him that he should not be ashamed of himself, and again apologized for being unable to do anything else for him.

During this, Aevelina approached us. She seemed ill, but assured me she was fine. I was growing tired and asked Aevelina to stay with Mukwa in my stead, afraid that I would fall asleep and leave Mukwa without the vigil he asked for. She told me I could go, and I left her with An'she's blessing, to strengthen her if she was indeed ill.

To tell the truth, I am not sure if Mukwa's pursuit of his lost memory is wise. His regret for his actions and sadness in knowing that there was lost memory suggests to me that maybe it is something that should not be found. This... is not my decision, though. I will tell him of my concern next time I see him, but I am willing to help him in any way I can. May An'she bless him, and the Earth Mother watch over him.

Pipiltin Sharptusk

Pipiltin is my mentor within the tribe, a very passionate troll shaman. She is very impulsive and not afraid to speak her mind... at least, what is left of it. The night I had been invited to join the tribe as an initiate, she had explained to me that half of her brain had been removed, and she had lost the ability to read, write, and speak correctly. I had noticed this when we first met at the jousting tournament; as with Mukwa, I noticed there was something amiss about the way she spoke and acted. She and Mukwa are examples as to why I take great care with judging those around me. Dismissing someone based on a first impression proved to be a foolish choice on many occasions, a choice I am glad to not have taken.

As she acts mainly on impulse, she can be unpredictable at times, and it can be frightening. I had once arrived to a meeting between the two of us much later than we had agreed upon, and was knocked around, even shot in the shoulder as a lesson. I feared for my life, as I had never seen her enraged before. I had learned that day three important life lessons about fear.

1. Keep on guard, and expect the unexpected.
2. Hold oneself with pride in combat regardless of how you feel; it affects how well one can defend themselves.
3. Never cross Pipiltin.

On the other hand, her unpredictable nature can be harmless, and just confusing. Yesterday I had approached Pipiltin and Urukha by the tree in Orgrimmar, wearing the robes I had found in a Noblegarden egg. While Urukha simply stated that she approved of my clothing, Pipiltin became excited, yelled that I was "so cute," and jumped into my lap as I was seated to give me a hug. I was caught by surprise, but I welcome it and returned the embrace. It is a reminder that I am accepted as family by her and the tribe, the very reason I had approached the Burning Tusks.

Pipiltin is also the tribe's chef, and her cooking abilities are unmatched. We share a love for apples, and she has made various meals and treats from the fruit, not counting what was prepared for the apple festival last month. That is all I can say on this subject for now... I do not wish to hunger myself. My mouth waters already...

Mukwa Elkhoof

I first met Mukwa at a jousting tournament in Northrend. I was an outsider to the tribe at the time, invited to attend as a gesture of kindness, and to meet the members of the Burning Tusk's family. Theran was still alive, and my mentor, so I had asked him to come with me, and I had also met Pipiltin, Urukha, Doso, Valtirus, and Mahalaka at this gathering.

I could immediately tell that there was something wrong with Mukwa; he has clearly aged, and one would think that an elder Shu'halo would be a source of great wisdom. Mukwa, however, was opposite. He was childish, and simple. That is not to say that I dislike Mukwa or think I am above him... I was just surprised. He is a kind Shu'halo, very loyal to the tribe, and a good friend. Despite his simple nature, he shows talent in druidism and potion brewing. In fact, it was explained to me once that the cause of Mukwa's simple mind was his druidism; he apparently favors the form of a bear, and staying in this form for much too long ate away at his mind. I was not aware that this could happen... but it seems that the abuse of any power has consequences. This even holds true to me, even, as An'she has burned me on occasion for trying to channel his power selfishly.

Last night, Mukwa was excited about creating a "smart potion," after admitting he was ashamed of his poor memory and confusion at something Blanche had said to him. I had offered to help Mukwa by testing his creations a while ago, so we met shortly after by the tree in Orgrimmar. His potion was a success... as the drink's effects set in, it felt as if a veil around the world was lifted. I saw and considered many things that I had simply accepted, and I heard myself using orcish words I had never heard before. It was strange and felt unnatural, however. This feeling came to pass quickly, and the effects wore off within the half-hour.

Mukwa was quite pleased with these results, and seemed intent on finding a way to make them permanent. I am worried for him, as I am aware how fickle alchemy can be. I have been told before that one small change can drastically effect what the potion does to its drinker. I pray that he does not damage his mind further, and that his actions will not anger the Earth Mother.