Midsummer Celebration

Last night the Burning Tusks gathered to celebrate midsummer, the time of the year when An'she's light has reached the height of its power, and when his light begins to yield to Mu'sha's. It is as much a time of celebration as it is a time of mourning, and like Noblegarden it is a celebration of life.

Siuliaruin hosted the tribe's celebration, and required that we wear as little as possible, or no clothing at all. We were brought to a forest with a lake and "faerie dragons", a type of creature I had never seen before. We were all given a circlet made from the leaves and sticks of the trees around us, and then we were brought to the lake. Siuliaruin told us to consider our bad memories, and to let the water take them away in its ebb and flow.

I thought of everything that had happened to me and Ferak over the past weeks... the nightmares, the whispers, the ritual... and fell into the lake. The water was refreshing, and I felt as if the weight of these painful memories was indeed cleansed from my heart. The others seemed to have felt the same way. I saw Ura and Pipiltin chasing one another playfully. Gren'mazi gave the tribe an interesting show of fire on the water's surface. Even Mukwa attempted to enjoy the swimming despite feeling tired, and later I would see that his spirits had been lifted greatly.

We bore witness to a rare and beautiful sight on returning to the forest: the faerie dragons had decided to bless our celebration. They gathered around the ring of mushrooms we had intended to enter and bathed it in a glowing light of many colors. I was struck with awe at this sight, and Siuliaruin noted that to see such a thing was very rare. We proceeded then to light a bonfire, feast, and dance. There were stories to be told, unfortunately I was too tired to join them to listen, or share. I excused myself and thanked Siuliaruin for bringing us to this place before dressing myself and returning home.

As the seasons change and An'she's light begins to dim again, I am reminded of the passing of time, of the families I have been a part of since I left my birth tribe, and of those I speak with or fight alongside. Faces, spirits, and the desires of those I know have and always will change, but one thing is absolute: I will do all I can to protect and aid those I know and love.

Until ash.

Black Blood

I am not well.

Two nights ago I was called by Ferak with good news: he had found a way to remove the pendant from my neck. He asked me to meet him in Storm Peaks, so I gathered the armor Pipiltin created for me when I had told her I was following the Earth Mother to Northrend. Ferak used the power of the talisman to summon me to his location quickly, and we began to talk.

Quickly, things turned grim. I heard the whispers again, and ignored them... however Ferak was affected. Perhaps he had been under Yogg-Saron's influence the entire time... I do not know. He told me the solution was simple, and then suddenly attacked me: I was to die, and the pendant would be unbound from me. We exchanged blows... I did not wish to fight him. I blinded him temporarily and ran for cover, to summon help. I called out to the tribe through the talisman... Westel, Zeyda'lei, and Gurdijef came to my aid, and were able to subdue Ferak and bring him to his senses.

While in hiding, I noticed that the blood seeping from my wounds was black. This frightened me. We were taken to a nearby camp to be mended and explain what had happened. Nobody could tell us what the black blood meant, and we decided it best that Ferak and I be secluded and separated from each other, should this be a disease that can spread through touch or breath. I am resting alone in my own camp in northern Mulgore, and Zeyda'lei has volunteered to keep watch over me and ensure I stay well.

Ferak said that he did find some kind of solution for the pendant that did not involve my death, and the others have agreed to rally the tribe this coming Saturday to do this cleansing. I pray to the Earth Mother that this will be the solution to our problems... today I have not felt well and the visions are becoming worse again.

Make It Stop

She does not stop. I see her amongst the crowds in the city, in the distance as I travel a path, sometimes right next to me when I turn around. Sometimes she is my mother. Sometimes she is Theran. Sometimes she is the Regent, Urukha, Pipiltin, Ferak, or others in the tribe. She appears in my dreams. Always staring, sometimes speaking to remind me of my failures. I have not rested well for three nights.

Ferak has experienced similar things. I hope he is not as worn as me. The tribe works to find an answer to this problem. I pray for strength, and for the others to quickly find the answer. I am afraid I may not last much longer...

Whispers and Visions

I wrote earlier of an expedition unto Ulduar to find a relic, and that I had seen disturbing visions during this.

They have not stopped.

The memories have become more vivid and brutal with the passing of time. I am worried. In the beginning I had merely been caught off guard and shocked at what I had seen. I am able to remind myself that what I am seeing is false and that I must focus on what is before me, though recently this is becoming more difficult and tiring.

However, I have been burdened with more. Two nights ago, the Burning Tusks went to an abandoned tower, Karazhan, to search for the other half of this relic: a pendant. The expedition was trying and many were again subject to horrifying things as we explored the tower. We found the pendant in the possession of a demon... he was no match for the combined strength of the Burning Tusks. When Ferak attempted to retrieve the pendant, he was knocked back by an unseen force. I was asked to take the pendant, and as I reached for it, it came to me, fixing itself to my chest with the speed and force of lightning and thunder.

Since I have had the pendant in my possession, my dreams and the memories have become worse. I have been seeing apparitions of my mother... though, it is not her. I am able to see the silhouette of a val'kyr around her. She whispers into my ear, and speaks ill of me, of my family, and attempts to push me into harming those around me. She has even appeared in my dreams and the false memories. I grow weary, and fearful. I am unsure how much longer I can bear this burden, but I must not falter. Earth Mother, ancestors, please grant me the strength to fight this curse, this illness... I must be sure no harm comes to anyone.

Until Ash

Two nights ago, a small group of Burning Tusks and I were a part of an expedition into a place called Ulduar. I was teleported to this place by way of the tribe's talisman's magic, so I do not know where it is, except that it is in Northrend; it was very cold outside. Ferak, an orc and initiate to the tribe, led us in. Kazak'guul, Urukha, Ura, Caelyssa, Nystia, and Tyrlink were with is, as well as an undead man I did not recognize, and Tyrlink's goblin friend... I believe she calls herself "Molly." Overall, we were unsuccessful in retrieving what we had set out to find; another attempt will be made soon. This expedition was very trying on all involved... we were warned beforehand that it would be dangerous, and that there were stories of others who had lost their minds while within Ulduar.

Surely enough, upon entering I was shown a false memory: my birth tribe, killed by my hand. As we pushed on, I caught glimpses of things out of the corner of my eye that tried to tell me that my memory was not false. Towards the end, I was shown some truly disturbing images, of many I knew and loved over the years being brutally slain, again by my hand. A joke Urukha had made earlier about me being a threat should I lose my mind echoed in my memory, followed by her screaming. I looked around and saw the others staring at me, weapons drawn, and I ran, afraid that I was going to be killed for crimes I knew I did not commit. Tyrlink and Molly came to my aid shortly after, though at the time I had thought they were looking to execute me.

I think I am fine now... Tyrlink and Molly helped me to regain my senses, somehow. Urukha, on the other hand, did not fare as well as I or the others seemed to. Later that night we joined her at the Wyvern's Tail for alcohol... but she was intent to "drown her problems." She pushed us all away and eventually passed out... I think she might have regurgitated, as well. I could not stand to see Urukha this way, but when I offered to bring her home, she made it clear that she would rather lie on the floor in a puddle of her stomach's contents. Instead, I decided to spend the night with her at the tavern, to make sure she was safe.

Nystia, another of the tribe's initiates and the only other person remaining from the group, noted that Urukha was fortunate to have me as a friend. I explained to Nystia that Urukha was not just a friend, but something more... family. All of the Burning Tusks are my family, and it is my duty to stand by them and make sure that harm does not come to them. They would do the same for me, as Tyrlink had earlier, in the depths of Ulduar. As I thought of this, I remembered a time when I had too much to drink, when the Tribe had gone to somewhere for a night of dancing to loud music. Urukha had made sure I returned to the tribe's home safely. When Nystia left, I had decided that I would do the same, despite Urukha's desire to remain at the tavern.

I brought her home and put her into her bed, and left a note explaining my actions before retiring to my own hut... Urukha was in a deep sleep and did not stir as I moved her around. I have not seen her since then, and I hope she is not angry that I violated her wishes... I only wish to make sure those in my newfound family are safe. Until ash.