This Is Love?

I believe I have fallen in love with Maengun.

Last night, the tribe hosted the Burning Tavern, as it does every Friday night. Shortly after my arrival, Maengun arrived as well. I was happy to see her there, and trying to learn more about the tribe in spite of her being shy. However, she quickly became drunk... I do not think she drinks alcohol often. She said she spoke with Ura, and became her friend. I was happy to hear this.

Then suddenly, Maengun fell into me, and then fell asleep. I laid on the floor with her on top of me. I could not move her, and she would not wake up. I was not uncomfortable... I think. I did not know what to think, as she had never done such a thing before. But I did not feel discomfort or pain as she lay upon me... I felt the opposite. It was good.

She would eventually move off of me in her sleep, and so I carried her to the Ravine, as I had done with Urukha before when she had had too much alcohol and fell asleep. I looked to her, and recalled the troubling stories she told me of her life. She slept in my arms, happily, and at peace. She was not tense, or burdened with the guilt she bore while searching for her father. I felt happy to see this, happier than I can recall ever feeling in my life.

Though I did not realize this until later, I am certain of the moment that I had fallen in love. As I looked at her, she stirred in my arms, and opened her eyes. She looked up to me, confused at first... I thought I might have done something wrong. But, Maengun simply fell back into her slumber, and rest her head against my arm... and smiled.

I am not certain if her actions are her own, or if it was brought upon by the alcohol. But more than ever, I wish to be there for Maengun. I would lay my life down for her without question. I want her to be safe, and happy. It is my wish to see her lips again carry the smile she wore in my arms last night. The smile forever burned into my memory.

Midsummer Celebration

Last night the Burning Tusks gathered to celebrate midsummer, the time of the year when An'she's light has reached the height of its power, and when his light begins to yield to Mu'sha's. It is as much a time of celebration as it is a time of mourning, and like Noblegarden it is a celebration of life.

Siuliaruin hosted the tribe's celebration, and required that we wear as little as possible, or no clothing at all. We were brought to a forest with a lake and "faerie dragons", a type of creature I had never seen before. We were all given a circlet made from the leaves and sticks of the trees around us, and then we were brought to the lake. Siuliaruin told us to consider our bad memories, and to let the water take them away in its ebb and flow.

I thought of everything that had happened to me and Ferak over the past weeks... the nightmares, the whispers, the ritual... and fell into the lake. The water was refreshing, and I felt as if the weight of these painful memories was indeed cleansed from my heart. The others seemed to have felt the same way. I saw Ura and Pipiltin chasing one another playfully. Gren'mazi gave the tribe an interesting show of fire on the water's surface. Even Mukwa attempted to enjoy the swimming despite feeling tired, and later I would see that his spirits had been lifted greatly.

We bore witness to a rare and beautiful sight on returning to the forest: the faerie dragons had decided to bless our celebration. They gathered around the ring of mushrooms we had intended to enter and bathed it in a glowing light of many colors. I was struck with awe at this sight, and Siuliaruin noted that to see such a thing was very rare. We proceeded then to light a bonfire, feast, and dance. There were stories to be told, unfortunately I was too tired to join them to listen, or share. I excused myself and thanked Siuliaruin for bringing us to this place before dressing myself and returning home.

As the seasons change and An'she's light begins to dim again, I am reminded of the passing of time, of the families I have been a part of since I left my birth tribe, and of those I speak with or fight alongside. Faces, spirits, and the desires of those I know have and always will change, but one thing is absolute: I will do all I can to protect and aid those I know and love.

Until ash.

Dark Iron

I had written last week that Nystia had met me at the pond in Thunder Bluff, where we had conversed about Sunwalkers and paladins. At a certain point in our conversation, we were joined by Theran, who had happened to be nearby. I was happy to see my former mentor, and the three of us began to converse about a topic I cannot quite remember, but around this time is where I noticed something wrong.

I had known Theran as a kind, though strict, bull. He reminded me of a training exercise he put me through, where I was to create a hammer built from An'she's rays and throw it at a target - an important skill to hone, as this hammer explodes in a flash of light on whomever it hits, dazing them for a short time. Theran said that he found a way to make the hammer explode brilliantly, and then laughed about it afterwards, amused. This unsettled me; I did not think of Theran to be the type to find amusement in his powers. Then, suddenly, he became violent and irritable at Nystia, insisting that he was not a "robot" and that she should respect her elders.

The fight was brief - Nystia and I were able to subdue him before the nearby braves could react, though Theran had broken Nystia's nose. She tied him up and I mended her wound. While tying him up, we noticed something strange on Theran's back; I removed his breastplate to inspect closer, and found that it was a small metal door. When we had opened it, I was met with a disturbing sight... inside of him were strange machines. I became distraught - someone, or something, had changed my friend, my mentor, in a horrible way... he was no longer the bull I met those many moons ago.

Before we could inspect this, Theran was awakened, and shielded the opening with a protective shell of light - despite this bastardization, Theran could still call upon An'she's light. Keeping the door open appeared to cause him great pain, and the machines inside began to grind and wail. He said something about us touching his "medicine," but I do not understand what he meant. Nystia could not understand what was happening any better than I could, so I called out to the tribe over the talisman. Ura responded, and met us to move Theran and inspect him closer. Sadly, she also could not tell us what had happened to him, in the short time she could open the door without causing him pain.

While we were moving Theran, he had awoken, and uttered my name. Again, something was not right. I looked at him, and saw fear in his eyes. It was also present in his voice. He started to tell me of this fear, but shortly after, he seemed to change again, to the bull we had fought outside, and again spoke of his "medicine." I am certain that Theran, the bull I know, is in that body somewhere. Nystia mentioned something about "Dark Iron" after we had left him to sleep... I must find out what this means. I will speak with Nystia next time I can.

Until Ash

Two nights ago, a small group of Burning Tusks and I were a part of an expedition into a place called Ulduar. I was teleported to this place by way of the tribe's talisman's magic, so I do not know where it is, except that it is in Northrend; it was very cold outside. Ferak, an orc and initiate to the tribe, led us in. Kazak'guul, Urukha, Ura, Caelyssa, Nystia, and Tyrlink were with is, as well as an undead man I did not recognize, and Tyrlink's goblin friend... I believe she calls herself "Molly." Overall, we were unsuccessful in retrieving what we had set out to find; another attempt will be made soon. This expedition was very trying on all involved... we were warned beforehand that it would be dangerous, and that there were stories of others who had lost their minds while within Ulduar.

Surely enough, upon entering I was shown a false memory: my birth tribe, killed by my hand. As we pushed on, I caught glimpses of things out of the corner of my eye that tried to tell me that my memory was not false. Towards the end, I was shown some truly disturbing images, of many I knew and loved over the years being brutally slain, again by my hand. A joke Urukha had made earlier about me being a threat should I lose my mind echoed in my memory, followed by her screaming. I looked around and saw the others staring at me, weapons drawn, and I ran, afraid that I was going to be killed for crimes I knew I did not commit. Tyrlink and Molly came to my aid shortly after, though at the time I had thought they were looking to execute me.

I think I am fine now... Tyrlink and Molly helped me to regain my senses, somehow. Urukha, on the other hand, did not fare as well as I or the others seemed to. Later that night we joined her at the Wyvern's Tail for alcohol... but she was intent to "drown her problems." She pushed us all away and eventually passed out... I think she might have regurgitated, as well. I could not stand to see Urukha this way, but when I offered to bring her home, she made it clear that she would rather lie on the floor in a puddle of her stomach's contents. Instead, I decided to spend the night with her at the tavern, to make sure she was safe.

Nystia, another of the tribe's initiates and the only other person remaining from the group, noted that Urukha was fortunate to have me as a friend. I explained to Nystia that Urukha was not just a friend, but something more... family. All of the Burning Tusks are my family, and it is my duty to stand by them and make sure that harm does not come to them. They would do the same for me, as Tyrlink had earlier, in the depths of Ulduar. As I thought of this, I remembered a time when I had too much to drink, when the Tribe had gone to somewhere for a night of dancing to loud music. Urukha had made sure I returned to the tribe's home safely. When Nystia left, I had decided that I would do the same, despite Urukha's desire to remain at the tavern.

I brought her home and put her into her bed, and left a note explaining my actions before retiring to my own hut... Urukha was in a deep sleep and did not stir as I moved her around. I have not seen her since then, and I hope she is not angry that I violated her wishes... I only wish to make sure those in my newfound family are safe. Until ash.