Farewell Before Introduction

Our Tuskguard is led by Jindal. He is our General. I do not know this shu'halo very well, for I have not had much chance to speak with him. But I do know that he has been with the tribe for a very long time, and in the times I have seen him, he is very focused on his duties.

I write this because he came before us this past Thursday, and told us of something that many of us did not know, for he does not speak much of his own troubles. He had been unable to come to terms with the death of his mate, Dustrunner, and yesterday, he held a funeral for him. I did not know him, but I am aware that he was a Burning Tusk, and I wished to pay my respects for a fallen Brother. Pipiltin and the General shared stories of Dustrunner, and I wished I had been able to meet him. He was a true Burningtusk from what I have heard, and I pray that he walks with the Earth Mother, now.

I also pray that the General is able to move on, and begin healing. He says he does not wish to trouble us with his problems, but I will let him know that I am willing to listen, should there be something troubling him. I do not know if I would be able to help, but I may try.

Cats

On the night of the solstice, my family was joined by an outsider, a Pandaren calling herself "Twychy." She was a friend of Siuliaruin, and wished to know more about us, as Siuliaruin speaks much of us in the times she is away.

She seems to have enjoyed our company. Yesterday, I had received five packages, wrapped neatly in Winter Veil parchment. When I opened them, the torn parchment revealed cages, each containing one of four cats, and a very strange creature made of mushrooms. I am surprised, and now overwhelmed. I have not cared for a companion animal before in my life, and recently I have come into the possession of a strange rabbit creature, a strange mushroom creature, four cats, and a silkworm. For now, the cats rest within their cages in my hut. I am afraid to turn them loose, for they may fall from my hut high upon the wall, or perhaps wander into the raptor stables Zau'tal and his family care for, and become a meal for the tribe's raptors. I do not know what a cat should eat, but from what I remember of tracking lessons from my father long ago, the lions of the Barrens hunt giraffe, zhevra, and kodo. They have happily eaten scraps of kodo meat for now, but I must learn what else they should eat to stay in good health.

I believe I should seek out others who may desire a companion animal. I would feel much more at ease if I know that these animals are in more capable hands than mine.

A Festive Ball

Upon my return, I found an invitation to a gathering, from Westlynn. I learned from Urukha that she is no longer our Regent, and had left to pursue other interests. She is still family to me, and I was happy to receive this letter. Unfortunately, the Regent Westlynn could not come to this gathering; I would learn later from Annjia that Westlynn's blood sister was ill.

The gathering was pleasant despite this, and that almost everyone at this "Festi-ball" was elven. I spent much of the night trading stories with a taunka bull of the Argent Crusade, and trying to learn more about the Warchief and Pandaria through discussion with a troll, who appeared to have been a friend of the taunka. I had tried new foods last night; I believe the feast offered to us was food prepared in Pandaren ways. It was tasty, and unlike anything I have had before. As the night came to a close, we were asked to prepare Winter Veil stories, and there was an exchange of gifts. It was clear that the gathering did not expect larger guests, such as myself or the taunka. I was unable to pour a cup of tea for myself, as the cup was much to small and it slipped from my fingers. During the gift exchange, I was given a robe meant for an elf. Fortunately, the troll would give me a flask to pour the tea into, and one of the other guests offered to trade to me her silkworm in exchange for the robes.

The taunka had asked me at one time, if the feast of Winter Veil was a celebration rooted in my culture. I had told him that he was correct. The feast is held each year to welcome the coming of life anew. The lands sleep under a blanket of snow and ice, and in this time we are able to consider and give thanks for what we have gained, lost, or still hold dear. He then joked that, if his people knew of this holiday, perhaps every day would be a celebration of Winter Veil.

Under My Wing

To my surprise, Maengun chose to attend last night's tribal meeting. As I expected of her, she spoke quietly and sparsely, and seemed withdrawn. Afterward, I approached to speak with her, to ask how she fared... I did not have this chance during the night of the solstice, when she left us early in the night.

We sat under Mu'sha's watchful gaze for a time and spoke of many things. She confided in me that she was shy, and wished to know some more of the others in the tribe. She was interested to know if there were many more shu'halo in the tribe, and how many of them were female, to find others to bond with. As I write this, I remember that she only had her father during her childhood, and has been alone ever since she ran from him. She has not known anyone she might call mother. I can only name two females in our tribe, and I have not seen either in very long. She had said that she would try to speak with females of other races... I hope that they can offer the bond that she seeks. She also seeks to better herself in the ways of the elements. I suggested she seek out Pipiltin... I do not know if there is anything for her to learn. I still see the smoking corpse of the devilsaur in my sleep, at times. Though, I am not a shaman, and I have proven my incompetence in such things before. Despite this, Pipiltin had somehow opened my ears to the spirits. I think, if there is anything that Maengun must know, it is Pipiltin that will show her.

As I am unable to help her in the ways she needs, I had offered to take her under my wing... to allow her to come to me if she felt lost, as others, especially Pipiltin, had done for me when I was an initiate. I was not sure what to expect... on one hand, I thought she would reject my offer, and say that it would not be necessary. But, I have seen that she has begun to open her heart to me... she spoke of a painful memory before, and just earlier asked me to hold a secret for her. She thanked me. I am happy, for I now certain that she sees me as a friend. I pray she will soon open up to others in the tribe, and find a place in our family.

Maengun

As the previous night came to its end, I sat by the tribal bonfire as I had in the past, preparing a pipe to smoke herbs. A spirit wolf approached me - I thought it was Pipiltin at first, but to my surprise, it was Maengun.

I had met Maengun in Silithus, and then again later in the Un'goro crater, during the time my camp was there. In the beginning, she was hostile and rude toward me, and insisted that she did not need my help. This would change soon, when she was attacked by a venomhide ravasaur and fatally poisoned. I found her in the jungle, alone and dying, and I could not leave her even though she insisted that she was well enough alone. I brought her to an explorers' camp nearby and paid the goblins for an antidote, and she would soon make a full recovery. Despite my telling her that she owed me no debt for what I had done, she insisted that she did... and the next day, she would get the change to repay this debt. I became the prey for a devilsaur, a creature I was told did not exist anymore, and Maengun came to my aid, dispatching the beast. She feels that she had repaid a debt, but like with Nystia, I will remember this for as long as I live, perhaps even longer.

In the crater, she told me of a mission she set herself upon, and expressed regret for something she said to someone long ago. Last night I learned that this mission was to search for her father; she had, in anger at his need to hide her from the world, told him that she did not love him, and ran away. When she returned to her home later, he was gone, and she has been searching for him since... until now. She has given up on her search. I tried to encourage her to not give up, but in doing so, she recalled these painful memories and the thought that she may not see him again, and became upset.

I am happy she had found the tribe after we parted ways a month ago, but I am angered with myself for causing her needless pain. I wish to help her, somehow... and it is not just because she is now family to me. I still feel that I am responsible for ensuring she is in good health and spirits.

An Eventful Week

On Monday, I was approached by an orc claiming to be a Sergeant in the Horde army. I do not remember his name. He proceeded to accuse me of murder, and attempted to execute me on the spot. He might have been successful, if not for Nystia, Xhea, and Urukha coming to my aid, as well as a Pandaren stranger. I walked away with no more than a half-mended axe wound to my left shoulder, though Nystia was less fortunate. She had nearly died in an attempt to knock down my assailant; he retaliated swiftly and nearly cut her in two. Luckily, she survived just barely, and Urukha tended to her wounds. The orc is dead, I believe... he was no Sergeant. His actions were dishonorable and unjust - a real Sergeant would have brought me to his superiors. Urukha has told me that I must take care and give careful thought to who I trust.

I have never been able to mend myself or others fully with An'she's light, so I retreated to my hut for two days to tend to my wound. I grew restless, and called out to Nystia over the talisman, in hopes we could meet and talk over a drink in Orgrimmar. She was unable to do so, but allowed me to visit her at her home in Northrend, in the Grizzly Hills. We spoke of things we did in the time I was gone, and she gave to me a salve made of Zangarmarsh mushrooms that numbed the pain in my shoulder. She also allowed me to spend the night... I pray I did not intrude upon her and her mate. She claims that I owe her no debt, but I will forever remember her actions that saved my life.

At last night's meeting, I reintroduced myself to my family, and saw many new faces. Scynthe and Vivvienne introduced a new child to the tribe, born just a few days ago. I have, for a long time, found great joy in children... this world is full of much hardship and strife, and to see a child in all of its innocence warms my heart. It is my hope that soon I will find a mate, and begin a family... but I do not know when this will be. I asked them if I might hold their child, who is not named at this time. They allowed this, and Vivvienne placed the infant into my hands. As the tiny child rested on my fingers, I was able to truly appreciate this new life, and as such how fragile and delicate a life can be. I asked Scynthe and Vivvienne if I might be allowed to leave the child with the blessings of the Earth Mother and An'she; they granted me their permissions. I did so, and gave him a formal greeting before giving him back to his mother. It is a beautiful child, and I hope his life will be filled with good things.

Afterwards, I spoke with Urukha, telling her of my travels while she told me of things that happened in my absence. She asked me to check upon Nemeiah... which I had done earlier in the day, coincidentally. We spoke of the orc, and she offered her healing abilities to the tribe should they be needed. She also mentioned searching for the reason why speaking to the Light hurts her so, and finding a way to prevent it. I pray she is successful, and that this will not cause her any more needless harm. Despite this, Annjia and Urukha still do not speak to one another... it is not my place, but I wish they would talk and find a solution to whatever problem there is. I have not forgotten the incident from those months ago.

As the night came to an end, I was presented with one more familiar face... but I will write on this another time. There are things I must do now.

I Have Returned

Yesterday, after three long months, I have finally returned home, to my family, and my friends. It has been too long.

I returned to the Burning Ravine first... it was quiet, and nobody was to be found. I found a notice about a gathering later in the evening in the commons... a "night of debauchery," and went to my hut to find the clothing needed. My hut was just as it was when I departed. I found my robe and hat, a leather harness and loincloth I recieved from the Regent some time ago, then this journal. I wanted to write in it then and record what had happened to me while I was gone, but my desire to find someone and speak with them was greater. I changed into my robe and departed for Orgrimmar, to sit by the tree in the Valley of Honor.

I sat for some time, watching others pass by. It felt good to be in the city again, though now there are people in the city that look like bears. I learned later that they are called "Pandaren." I was eventually joined by Gren'mazi and Nemeiah, both of whom were very pleased to see me. The feeling was mutual. Gren'mazi wished to know what I had done in my time away, and Nemeiah expressed concern for my well-being. She said she had been to a place called "Pandaria" looking for someone, but afterwards spent some time there to admire the land - she says it is quite beautiful. I must go there sometime.

I attended the night of debauchery, eager to see my family again, and changed my clothing to the harness and loincloth I carried. The gathering was a contest to determine who was most appealing while wearing the least amount of clothing. I do not remember much of the night... there was a very tasty alcohol being served, and I know that I drank too much. I remember vague images of Jindal and Urukha doing things I did not expect of them, and the reactions of others towards something Urukha did while being judged. I also remember winning something, a tankard holding a strange rabbit-like creature. I do not know what it is called.

I also vaguely remember being in Orgrimmar while drunk, and talking with some people... I believe a pandaren and a goblin. I think Nemeiah was there, as well. I hope I did not do or say anything foolish in my drunken state. My head pounds still, even long into the day. I have not left the hut, and writing this has taken much effort. But I am still happy to be back with my family, despite the pain.