Apologies for the lack of posts, to whomever actually reads this character blog. Due to an expired World of Warcraft subscription and needing a break from a bunch of things I usually like to do, there's nothing for me to relay about Kruega's character development at the time.
In-character, Kruega's lost his journal, and is probably just lending a hand around the tribal home.
After the tour Sunday, I had travelled to Orgrimmar and found Mukwa and Pipiltin under the usual tree. Pipiltin ran off shortly after I had arrived, but Mukwa asked for me to stay so he could test a newer potion of his. Unable to assist in any other way, I stayed with him; I was uncomfortable with the effects of his last potion, so he told me I wouldn't have to test this one. Upon drinking it, Mukwa addressed me sternly and assured me that he was well. I was surprised, until I remembered why I was watching him.
The potion worked, and Mukwa was deep in thought. He spoke carefully and with more weight on his words than before. I am happy to see that the potion was successful, however I am worried. Normally, Mukwa is cheerful and capable of only thinking of the moment, but with the ability to see more than he was usually able to, he became troubled by his short memory, and regretful of his actions. He spoke of his mind being destroyed... what I was told about his druidic powers causing this was a myth. He told me, while it was understandable to assume this, it was not the cause of his condition. I tried to assure him that he should not be ashamed of himself, and again apologized for being unable to do anything else for him.
During this, Aevelina approached us. She seemed ill, but assured me she was fine. I was growing tired and asked Aevelina to stay with Mukwa in my stead, afraid that I would fall asleep and leave Mukwa without the vigil he asked for. She told me I could go, and I left her with An'she's blessing, to strengthen her if she was indeed ill.
To tell the truth, I am not sure if Mukwa's pursuit of his lost memory is wise. His regret for his actions and sadness in knowing that there was lost memory suggests to me that maybe it is something that should not be found. This... is not my decision, though. I will tell him of my concern next time I see him, but I am willing to help him in any way I can. May An'she bless him, and the Earth Mother watch over him.
Doso hosted a tour of our home last night, the Burning Ravine, or "Piki'alo Hetawa" in my native tongue. I had known that the land was reclaimed from the quilboar; the large thorn vines are still rooted in the hills. I did not know, however, just how much effort had gone into shaping the ravine into what it is today. Members of the tribe, past and present, have all given their share of hard work to make this their home. I feel guilty asking to live there; I was not a part of building the ravine. I wonder what I can do in turn for the tribe allowing me to live in their home...
It is an honorable thing to do, but keeping the presence of a quilboar spirit in the tribe's home does not sit well with me. I hope that this does not come up again, as I despise the quilboar and do not want anything to do with them.
Thursday night began a long string of surreal events. It is over, but I am still confused.
As I had written before, I had been officially accepted as a member of the tribe on Thursday night, at our tribal meeting. I am honored that the tribe considers me to be one of their own, to know that there are others willing to lay their lives down for me if need be. I am willing to do the same for these people... my family. I must consult with someone on finding the best way I can do this.
When the meeting ended, I was transformed into a rabbit. I do not know how... perhaps there was someone with one of the branches I had found in a Noblegarden egg? Because of this, I was unable to assist our tribe with the expedition into Blackrock Mountains, or Valtirus and Blanche with their research. Blanche had said that my altered form would last for just an hour, but I did not return to my natural form when I expected to. It was not until the next evening that Aevelina and Scynthe would find me in Bloodhoof Village, where Scynthe would quickly solve my problem. It was painful to me, as his power is fel-based, but he quickly offered me a stone that quelled the pain quickly. I did not feel any ill effects from it.
After this, I had retrieved the stone and flowers I had gathered for Theran's grave, and visited Kazak'guul at our burial grounds. The witch doctor could not find Theran's spirit, which told him that my mentor was still alive. I smiled and thanked him, but I was hiding my confusion. I was happy to hear that Theran was alive... but... I had seen him dead with my own eyes, and laid him to rest with my own hands. What had happened? I could not find an answer. My head spun, and I finally succumbed to my urge to drink.
I do not remember the rest of that night very well, the firewater clouds my memory. I do know that I had actually encountered Theran at the bonfire in Bloodhoof Village, and he appeared to have answers to my confusion and questions. I have a feeling I had made a fool of myself, however...
(The following entry appears hastily written, and very messy. This is not Kruega's normal handwriting.)
Arrived late to meeting last night. Was accepted as tribesmate. Am happy. Write later. Am rabbit. Need help.
Before I knew of the Burning Tusks, I had sought out family in Mulgore upon returning to the Barrens and being unable to find my birth tribe. I was accepted into the Stonecalf Tribe, and it was there that I met Theran. He was an elder Sunwalker, and as I have said before, my former mentor. During my time with the Stonecalves, Theran personally taught me many things about An'she, and my power, that I did not know. With his aid I was able to realize my potential and work towards it more clearly; I was gifted an ornate, yet effective greatsword, for my progress. It is in my care to this day.
He was a kind bull, but very strict and honor-bound. I was once reprimanded by him for walking around Orgrimmar without my vest; he was afraid that I would dishonor the Stonecalves by showing my body. I did not understand why he thought this at the time, but now I see why, especially after seeing the reactions of those around me when I had lost most of my clothing in Elwynn Forest, and I had returned to the orc city to find a Burning Tusk. There are too many that think one's body is something to be hidden.
My greatest regret is that I had lost contact with Theran following the disappearance of the Stonecalf Tribe. It wasn't until a month ago that I would see him again... dead. I had returned to the Stonecalves' home in the mountains surrounding Mulgore, as I usually do to see if anyone had decided to do the same. I found an orc and two goblins there, and while apprehensive at first, I noticed they stood around his body, performing a Shu'halo death ritual for him. My heart grew heavy... Urukha and Kazak'guul have both told me that I should not feel so, as my presence may not have saved him. But I still wish I had spent a little more time with him, as I cannot now. His brothers-in-arms and I had laid his body to rest at Red Rocks, and his spirit appeared before us. I was thanked for being there, even if only for a little time.
Recalling these events burdens my heart again, and I must gather things for Theran's grave at the tribe's burial ground. I had visited his grave finally, but his body was missing. I am puzzled, and I wonder if Kazak'guul has found his spirit yet. The urge to drink grows stronger... I must meditate. Alcohol would only numb my sadness for a short time. An'she, I pray to you to grant me the strength I need to carry this weight on my heart.
Pipiltin is my mentor within the tribe, a very passionate troll shaman. She is very impulsive and not afraid to speak her mind... at least, what is left of it. The night I had been invited to join the tribe as an initiate, she had explained to me that half of her brain had been removed, and she had lost the ability to read, write, and speak correctly. I had noticed this when we first met at the jousting tournament; as with Mukwa, I noticed there was something amiss about the way she spoke and acted. She and Mukwa are examples as to why I take great care with judging those around me. Dismissing someone based on a first impression proved to be a foolish choice on many occasions, a choice I am glad to not have taken.
As she acts mainly on impulse, she can be unpredictable at times, and it can be frightening. I had once arrived to a meeting between the two of us much later than we had agreed upon, and was knocked around, even shot in the shoulder as a lesson. I feared for my life, as I had never seen her enraged before. I had learned that day three important life lessons about fear.
On the other hand, her unpredictable nature can be harmless, and just confusing. Yesterday I had approached Pipiltin and Urukha by the tree in Orgrimmar, wearing the robes I had found in a Noblegarden egg. While Urukha simply stated that she approved of my clothing, Pipiltin became excited, yelled that I was "so cute," and jumped into my lap as I was seated to give me a hug. I was caught by surprise, but I welcome it and returned the embrace. It is a reminder that I am accepted as family by her and the tribe, the very reason I had approached the Burning Tusks.
Pipiltin is also the tribe's chef, and her cooking abilities are unmatched. We share a love for apples, and she has made various meals and treats from the fruit, not counting what was prepared for the apple festival last month. That is all I can say on this subject for now... I do not wish to hunger myself. My mouth waters already...
I enjoy Noblegarden. It is a fairly new holiday to me, apparently of Human origin, but it is a celebration of life. I first learned of it during the second year away from my tribe, before I had found the Stonecalves. I was supporting the Horde's efforts in Ashenvale, and an orc had explained to me that the humans of high status would leave gifts within decorated eggs for all to find within their gardens, as a way of putting aside their differences. I do not quite understand it, but I sympathized with the idea that life should be celebrated, especially with the coming of Spring.
Yesterday I had visited Bloodhoof Village on my way to Red Rocks, and eggs had been hidden all about, with members of all welcome races searching high and low for them. I became distracted by this, and joined in the hunt. My search was fruitful, as I was rewarded with clothing that spoke of the holiday.
The Burning Tusks have planned activities and meetings for the holiday, undoubtedly to boost morale and distract the ill from their sickness. I am looking forward to this.
I was unaware that our tribe housed a troll witch doctor, named Kazak'guul. I met him proper yesterday at the dedication of the tribe's burial grounds, which he was apparently responsible for building. He seems to be a kind troll, though he emits an unsettling aura, and his gaze seems to pierce my being.
He is adamant about caring for the spirits of the dead, and seems to have no qualms with tearing someone apart who might disturb them. I watched him become quite restless at our tribal meeting, when Valtirus said something that suggested doing research involving the dead, and Kazak'guul threatened him before Valtirus corrected himself and made it clear he did not plan to do such a thing.
Urukha had supplied me with a jug of rum yesterday as we approached the gates of this hallowed ground, for dedication to the witch doctor's "loa," their word for ancestral spirits. We were assured that this was merely a token of gratitude in good faith, and not a sign of dedication to the spirit. I believe he called him "Bwon Samdee." I should be sure of this, as I do not wish to invoke Kazak'guul's anger due to ignorance.
After the dedication, I spoke with the witch doctor and learned of the "loa" and the significance of what myself and the others had done within the burial ground. Curious, I asked him if he was able to commune with the spirits of the dead... I am still troubled by Theran's passing, and I have been unable to pay my respects to him in the way I wish I could. He told me to return later with something of significance to the spirit.
We met later that night. I had brought my greatsword with me, the weapon Theran had given me as a gift, for realizing my potential as a Sunwalker under his watch. I explained to Kazak'guul that I wished to construct a memorial to Theran, and let his spirit know personally that I was doing this. Kazak'guul said he would seek out Theran's spirit, and was honored that I asked him to do the task. He will see within the next few days, when he locates Theran.
My friend... I am sorry I have not been able to be there for you, even in death. I shall visit your grave at Red Rocks next time I am in the Ravine.
After attending our weekly tribal meeting last night, I had found myself wandering around our home in the Burning Ravine... I need to send a letter to Doso, asking for a tour and a hut I might call my own. I have been reluctant thus far, as I have never lived in one place for long. I have always traveled, since my birth along the river, and up until now. Lately I have found myself with little to do... perhaps this is why I am considering a permanent home?
I had been guided by spirits of my ancestors for a long time. Since I was a calf, my dreams and meditation have resulted in messages left to me by the spirit realm, hints at what I must do to better myself, aid those in need, or both. They had shown me the path of the Sunwalker, and guided my travels throughout Kalimdor, the Outland, and Northrend. They gave no clear objection to my choice in seeking out the Burning Tusks. Of course they did not approve of the choices in lifestyle a number of the tribespeople had made, but they did not send any signs saying that I was doing something wrong.
However, my spiritual link is coming undone, or I have been abandoned. I do not know which is the case. I was led to Northrend in order to aid taunka refugees still suffering from the war brought on by this "Lich King" years ago. In the midst of this work, the spirits stopped appearing to me. Meditation is relaxing, but I see nothing. My dreams reflect what I had been doing rather than what I should be doing. I finished the work I set out to do, bid the tribe I had been working with farewell, and set out to return to the only home I knew, with the Burning Tusks.
I feel lost. I consulted with Pipiltin, as she is a shaman and constantly in tune with the spirit world. She supposed that I had angered the spirits, or that I am being tested. I have angered my ancestors before, and it was made clear to me that I had when this happened. They did not disappear. She said it is also possible that the spirits are watching me silently to ensure I am capable of making correct choices on my own.
I am nervous. Ancestors, if you are watching, please guide me. Give me some kind of sign that I have not strayed from my path.
I first met Mukwa at a jousting tournament in Northrend. I was an outsider to the tribe at the time, invited to attend as a gesture of kindness, and to meet the members of the Burning Tusk's family. Theran was still alive, and my mentor, so I had asked him to come with me, and I had also met Pipiltin, Urukha, Doso, Valtirus, and Mahalaka at this gathering.
I could immediately tell that there was something wrong with Mukwa; he has clearly aged, and one would think that an elder Shu'halo would be a source of great wisdom. Mukwa, however, was opposite. He was childish, and simple. That is not to say that I dislike Mukwa or think I am above him... I was just surprised. He is a kind Shu'halo, very loyal to the tribe, and a good friend. Despite his simple nature, he shows talent in druidism and potion brewing. In fact, it was explained to me once that the cause of Mukwa's simple mind was his druidism; he apparently favors the form of a bear, and staying in this form for much too long ate away at his mind. I was not aware that this could happen... but it seems that the abuse of any power has consequences. This even holds true to me, even, as An'she has burned me on occasion for trying to channel his power selfishly.
Last night, Mukwa was excited about creating a "smart potion," after admitting he was ashamed of his poor memory and confusion at something Blanche had said to him. I had offered to help Mukwa by testing his creations a while ago, so we met shortly after by the tree in Orgrimmar. His potion was a success... as the drink's effects set in, it felt as if a veil around the world was lifted. I saw and considered many things that I had simply accepted, and I heard myself using orcish words I had never heard before. It was strange and felt unnatural, however. This feeling came to pass quickly, and the effects wore off within the half-hour.
Mukwa was quite pleased with these results, and seemed intent on finding a way to make them permanent. I am worried for him, as I am aware how fickle alchemy can be. I have been told before that one small change can drastically effect what the potion does to its drinker. I pray that he does not damage his mind further, and that his actions will not anger the Earth Mother.
It has been about a week since I have returned to the tribe after wandering away in my sleep. Pipiltin had given me a new talisman to replace my lost one, Annjia was kind enough to bring me back to our home so I could gather my things I did not bring to the club, and Urukha and the Regent have offered me new clothing to replace what I have lost. Uwharrie had even dug up a tabard for me to wear in place of my missing vest. I personally prefer to wear little, or nothing; the feel of An'she's light on an uncovered body during the day is a welcome feeling, but I am aware that most others would rather I respect a certain decency, and cover myself when I am among others in a city, or camp. I do not mind.
Much has happened in my absence; the cause of illness besetting the tribe was found out, as well as a cure. I am worried for everyone that is ill, and would like to help however I can. I must speak with Pipiltin about joining an expedition to find the materials for treatment.
I have been seeing unclear images from a dream I believe I had the night I wandered off. It is bothering me... there are images that give me a happy feeling when they flash in my eye, but a few unsettle me. I had encountered Zelevia a few nights ago, and asked her if she might be able to aid me in remembering these images in greater detail, perhaps even remembering the dream from which they came from. She agreed to meet with me at a later time, as she was preoccupied. Until then, I have purchased this journal as a means for exploring my thoughts.
I am blessed to be surrounded by so many that are willing to lend me their aid. May the Earth Mother protect them, and allow me to return these deeds however I can.