Peace

I cannot recall the last time I had looked forward to sleep as much as I had, or feeling as though I had been reborn in the night.

Yesterday, Annjia warned not to go to Tyr's Hand... I was not certain, but she appeared to be covered in blood and entrails. I thanked her and retreated to search for some peace, to Urukha's dismay. Today, Urukha called upon me to speak of matters regarding Annjia and Nemeiah, and forbade me outright from going. Around this time, she appeared again, behind Urukha. She took the form of Pipiltin, and stared. She said nothing, and started to sharpen an axe. Urukha grabbed my attention again and Pipiltin... no, the val'kyr... disappeared. Shortly after, though, she appeared again and descended upon the pond we had stood by, a bow and arrow in her hand. She took aim, and fired... I felt a sharp pain in my chest, and I collapsed.

Urukha called for help, and Pipiltin answered swiftly. Pipiltin said she could feel a strong spirit within the pendant, and the three of us flew on her drake to Winterspring. She performed some kind of ritual to draw this spirit from the necklace... the voices and apparitions ceased, though I could see it took a toll on her. We were brought back to the Ravine through the talisman's summoning magic, and Urukha made sure, again, that I safely made it into a bed in the Commons.

Once again, I am thankful to be surrounded by others willing to ensure I am safe. I do hope I am not becoming a burden...

Make It Stop

She does not stop. I see her amongst the crowds in the city, in the distance as I travel a path, sometimes right next to me when I turn around. Sometimes she is my mother. Sometimes she is Theran. Sometimes she is the Regent, Urukha, Pipiltin, Ferak, or others in the tribe. She appears in my dreams. Always staring, sometimes speaking to remind me of my failures. I have not rested well for three nights.

Ferak has experienced similar things. I hope he is not as worn as me. The tribe works to find an answer to this problem. I pray for strength, and for the others to quickly find the answer. I am afraid I may not last much longer...

Whispers and Visions

I wrote earlier of an expedition unto Ulduar to find a relic, and that I had seen disturbing visions during this.

They have not stopped.

The memories have become more vivid and brutal with the passing of time. I am worried. In the beginning I had merely been caught off guard and shocked at what I had seen. I am able to remind myself that what I am seeing is false and that I must focus on what is before me, though recently this is becoming more difficult and tiring.

However, I have been burdened with more. Two nights ago, the Burning Tusks went to an abandoned tower, Karazhan, to search for the other half of this relic: a pendant. The expedition was trying and many were again subject to horrifying things as we explored the tower. We found the pendant in the possession of a demon... he was no match for the combined strength of the Burning Tusks. When Ferak attempted to retrieve the pendant, he was knocked back by an unseen force. I was asked to take the pendant, and as I reached for it, it came to me, fixing itself to my chest with the speed and force of lightning and thunder.

Since I have had the pendant in my possession, my dreams and the memories have become worse. I have been seeing apparitions of my mother... though, it is not her. I am able to see the silhouette of a val'kyr around her. She whispers into my ear, and speaks ill of me, of my family, and attempts to push me into harming those around me. She has even appeared in my dreams and the false memories. I grow weary, and fearful. I am unsure how much longer I can bear this burden, but I must not falter. Earth Mother, ancestors, please grant me the strength to fight this curse, this illness... I must be sure no harm comes to anyone.

Annjia

The Burning Tusks often consider outsiders to be a part of them, though they do not undergo the rites and rituals than an initiate must to become a tribesmate, and they are not given a talisman. Annjia is one of these people. She is a elven death knight, and a good friend of the tribe. As with other elves, I can smell the taint of the arcane on her spirit, however it is not as strong as it is on others. There is also another strange and unpleasant scent that comes from her spirit, but I have not sensed this on anyone else yet, and do not know what it could be.

In the beginning, I felt uneasy around Annjia. She often wears a set of black platemail armor and speaks softly... I am ashamed to admit it, as I am larger than her, but I was intimidated in her presence. I had also made a foolish assumption about her shortly after we had met, based on what I was told by a shu'halo death knight long ago, and thought I had offended her. However, as time passed, I had noticed that she was seen as a friend to the tribe, and I found it easier to speak to her. We talk of many things, and she appears to have knowledge of shu'halo customs, as she did not require me to explain things that I often must to others, such as An'she and the Earth Mother. She is the first and only person to call me "Sunwalker" as if it were my name. It is strange, but I do not mind... I am a Sunwalker.

Annjia is also acquainted with Nemeiah, something I was pleasantly surprised to find out, and Annjia thanked me for going with Nemeiah to Hearthglen last week. I learned through Annjia that there is trouble at Tyr's Hand, and Nemeiah does not want Annjia to visit until the problem is taken care of. I wish to help, but Annjia told me that I should not, as Nemeiah does not want harm to come to either of us... I will be told when it is safe. I pray that no harm comes to her as well... Earth Mother, please watch over Nemeiah, and the people of Tyr's Hand.

Nemeiah spoke to Annjia of our walk to Hearthglen, and this led to talking about the Plaguelands and their recovery. She has an interest in a certain flower that is said to grow in the Plaguelands, called "Arthas's Tears." Annjia described it as a purple flower, much similar in appearance to another lily that grows in that forest. I told her that I plan to visit Silvermoon occasionally, and I would not mind searching the Plaguelands for this flower if time permits. Perhaps I might find out more about this flower in the elven city, as well...

Dark Iron

I had written last week that Nystia had met me at the pond in Thunder Bluff, where we had conversed about Sunwalkers and paladins. At a certain point in our conversation, we were joined by Theran, who had happened to be nearby. I was happy to see my former mentor, and the three of us began to converse about a topic I cannot quite remember, but around this time is where I noticed something wrong.

I had known Theran as a kind, though strict, bull. He reminded me of a training exercise he put me through, where I was to create a hammer built from An'she's rays and throw it at a target - an important skill to hone, as this hammer explodes in a flash of light on whomever it hits, dazing them for a short time. Theran said that he found a way to make the hammer explode brilliantly, and then laughed about it afterwards, amused. This unsettled me; I did not think of Theran to be the type to find amusement in his powers. Then, suddenly, he became violent and irritable at Nystia, insisting that he was not a "robot" and that she should respect her elders.

The fight was brief - Nystia and I were able to subdue him before the nearby braves could react, though Theran had broken Nystia's nose. She tied him up and I mended her wound. While tying him up, we noticed something strange on Theran's back; I removed his breastplate to inspect closer, and found that it was a small metal door. When we had opened it, I was met with a disturbing sight... inside of him were strange machines. I became distraught - someone, or something, had changed my friend, my mentor, in a horrible way... he was no longer the bull I met those many moons ago.

Before we could inspect this, Theran was awakened, and shielded the opening with a protective shell of light - despite this bastardization, Theran could still call upon An'she's light. Keeping the door open appeared to cause him great pain, and the machines inside began to grind and wail. He said something about us touching his "medicine," but I do not understand what he meant. Nystia could not understand what was happening any better than I could, so I called out to the tribe over the talisman. Ura responded, and met us to move Theran and inspect him closer. Sadly, she also could not tell us what had happened to him, in the short time she could open the door without causing him pain.

While we were moving Theran, he had awoken, and uttered my name. Again, something was not right. I looked at him, and saw fear in his eyes. It was also present in his voice. He started to tell me of this fear, but shortly after, he seemed to change again, to the bull we had fought outside, and again spoke of his "medicine." I am certain that Theran, the bull I know, is in that body somewhere. Nystia mentioned something about "Dark Iron" after we had left him to sleep... I must find out what this means. I will speak with Nystia next time I can.

To Silvermoon

Arcane magic has long baffled me. When I was a calf, I was taught that one so inclined to could wield the elements by speaking to them and being unselfish in doing so. However, there are many who force the elements' shapes to their will... this is called arcane magic. I have heard many stories of those who practice arcane magic becoming tainted by the unnatural forces they wield, and I am able to detect this. The arcane leaves a scent on one's soul, a very pungent stench, and the longer one exposes themselves to it, the stronger this scent becomes. Many others, shu'halo and non-shu'halo alike, have noted that my sensitivity to the scent is unique... it can overpower my senses, and oftentimes I must sneeze to cleanse them of it, even if it is temporary.

I understand that elven culture is based on the arcane. This is especially evident in the elves of the Eastern Kingdoms, though I had been unaware of just how much. Yesterday, I had been riding around the Ravine on a raptor I had trained with the help of Zon'Krul earlier in the evening, listening in to a conversation over the talisman between Aevelina and Gren'mazi, about tattoos. I encountered Aevelina not much later, and she, with Caelyssa, invited me to accompany them to Silvermoon City. I had been long curious about what the elven homeland was like, and accepted their invitation.

The two of them had found their way to the city before I could, and Caelyssa used the summoning power of the talisman to bring me there. The city was very beautiful... but a different kind of beautiful than one would feel while wandering the plains. Caelyssa understood how I felt, telling me that she was also overwhelmed at how Thunder Bluff looked when she had first found it. However, my ability to admire my surroundings was cut short, as the stench of the arcane began to make itself known to me. It came from all around; I saw many objects floating above the ground as we wandered the roads of the city, looking for a tattoo artist. The whole time I had sneezed repeatedly... once on Caelyssa.

I felt foolish, and a burden, for letting my curiosity of the world get the better of me. Caelyssa assured me I was not burdening them, and the decision to leave was only because there was nobody in the city that could draw a tattoo. She suggested that I should perhaps visit Silvermoon periodically, to build a resistance to the scent. I think that it may be a good idea, should I need to go there in the future for another reason.

To Hearthglen

Yesterday I encountered Nemeiah again in Orgrimmar... she had come to the city to retrieve a package she sent for. Our discussion three days ago was still on my mind, so I asked her if I could know where Tyr's Hand was, to travel there on my own and perhaps find some answers to my questions. To my surprise, she offered to bring me to a place called Hearthglen, a place the Argent Crusade call their home, telling me that if I wished to learn about "the Light," it was a better place to do so than Tyr's Hand.

After retrieving her package, we boarded a zeppelin to Tirisfal Glades, what I understand is now the home of the undead that call themselves Forsaken... a heavy air hung over the land, one that filled me with sorrow. This would change, thankfully, as we moved towards the Plaguelands. As we approached the healing land, the air became lighter, and An'she cast his light upon us effortlessly. The rest of our walk was pleasant.

When we arrived in Hearthglen, I saw a number of interesting things. Most importantly, we came upon a statue of the Highlord of the Argent Crusade, and learned that he holds a weapon that could kill the undead just by being close... this included Nemeiah. I was alarmed, for I heard that she was able to commune with this "Light," yet it could still harm her. I asked her what "the Light" was, why it would do this to her, and it is then that she suggested that we sit and talk about it.

We entered what she called the "town hall," and there she explained to me that "the Light" is everywhere. Anyone may open themselves up to it or turn it away by following or defying three virtues: Respect, Tenacity, and Compassion. I became conflicted, and wondered again if the things I have been taught were false. Nemeiah told me then that I should not forsake tradition, and she suggested that the Earth Mother and "the Light" are "seperate, but unified."

I realized that doing what I can to aid the Earth Mother has also made others around me happy. I shall continue to do what I have been doing, for it is right... even this "Light" believes so.

Sunwalkers and Paladins

Last night I encountered an undead woman I had not seen in a few moons. Her name is Nemeiah. I had first met her when she was being harassed and threatened by a typical goblin: loud-mouthed and self-centered. I managed to scare the problem off, and I remember we had talked for a short time afterward... but I do not remember what about. I am not upset by this, for Nemeiah did not remember who I was when I saw her last night.

I believe she is a part of what is called the Argent Crusade... she explained that they are a group of people which are accepting of all races, and they have been working to cleanse the Plaguelands, which I understand sit on the northern end of the Eastern Kingdoms. Nemeiah mentioned that she, and others in the Crusade, follow teachings of what is called "the Light." I had heard others mention "the Light" before, and had always assumed that they spoke of An'she. Curious, I asked about this... Nemeiah replied that An'she and "the Light" are not the same, even though those that follow the teachings of "the Light" and Shu'halo who look to An'she are granted similar abilities.

She mentioned that those who are not Shu'halo and fight with my abilites are called "Paladins." Nystia had said that word to me the day before when I explained to her what a Sunwalker was... she said that they wore platemail armor into combat, had abilities like mine, and were rude. Nemeiah confirmed this... however, she said that paladins were beings of virtue, and acted in similar ways that I do. I am confused.

After our conversation, I am left wondering about "the Light." Perhaps I will go to Tyr's Hand one day and find this out... I hope it will not go against what I have been taught, or anger my ancestors or the Earth Mother.

Until Ash

Two nights ago, a small group of Burning Tusks and I were a part of an expedition into a place called Ulduar. I was teleported to this place by way of the tribe's talisman's magic, so I do not know where it is, except that it is in Northrend; it was very cold outside. Ferak, an orc and initiate to the tribe, led us in. Kazak'guul, Urukha, Ura, Caelyssa, Nystia, and Tyrlink were with is, as well as an undead man I did not recognize, and Tyrlink's goblin friend... I believe she calls herself "Molly." Overall, we were unsuccessful in retrieving what we had set out to find; another attempt will be made soon. This expedition was very trying on all involved... we were warned beforehand that it would be dangerous, and that there were stories of others who had lost their minds while within Ulduar.

Surely enough, upon entering I was shown a false memory: my birth tribe, killed by my hand. As we pushed on, I caught glimpses of things out of the corner of my eye that tried to tell me that my memory was not false. Towards the end, I was shown some truly disturbing images, of many I knew and loved over the years being brutally slain, again by my hand. A joke Urukha had made earlier about me being a threat should I lose my mind echoed in my memory, followed by her screaming. I looked around and saw the others staring at me, weapons drawn, and I ran, afraid that I was going to be killed for crimes I knew I did not commit. Tyrlink and Molly came to my aid shortly after, though at the time I had thought they were looking to execute me.

I think I am fine now... Tyrlink and Molly helped me to regain my senses, somehow. Urukha, on the other hand, did not fare as well as I or the others seemed to. Later that night we joined her at the Wyvern's Tail for alcohol... but she was intent to "drown her problems." She pushed us all away and eventually passed out... I think she might have regurgitated, as well. I could not stand to see Urukha this way, but when I offered to bring her home, she made it clear that she would rather lie on the floor in a puddle of her stomach's contents. Instead, I decided to spend the night with her at the tavern, to make sure she was safe.

Nystia, another of the tribe's initiates and the only other person remaining from the group, noted that Urukha was fortunate to have me as a friend. I explained to Nystia that Urukha was not just a friend, but something more... family. All of the Burning Tusks are my family, and it is my duty to stand by them and make sure that harm does not come to them. They would do the same for me, as Tyrlink had earlier, in the depths of Ulduar. As I thought of this, I remembered a time when I had too much to drink, when the Tribe had gone to somewhere for a night of dancing to loud music. Urukha had made sure I returned to the tribe's home safely. When Nystia left, I had decided that I would do the same, despite Urukha's desire to remain at the tavern.

I brought her home and put her into her bed, and left a note explaining my actions before retiring to my own hut... Urukha was in a deep sleep and did not stir as I moved her around. I have not seen her since then, and I hope she is not angry that I violated her wishes... I only wish to make sure those in my newfound family are safe. Until ash.